ok heres the story..... I am 21 and I am currently talking to a 25 year old guy who has a 1year old child. Actually this guy was my childhood crush. We were both in love with each other when were around 8-13yr old. So its kinda cool because we havent seen each other in about ten years and now he has came back in my life. He does have a child and I dont have any children. I mean dont get me wrong I love childern, but one of my friends is in a relationship with a man with a child and she has warned me "DO NOT DO IT!!" She said it will cause nothing but hurt. She was told me go out with him and have fun but whatever you do dont get serious!! But I do like him a lot and I dont know if I wanna just say forget it without ever trying it. Will someone give me some advice that is maybe in this same situation or has been through this kinda thing.

[Dragonflys]

Hi

I don't think there are any absolutes here. If you like his child, and he doesn't throw the baby in your lap when you come into his life then it really shouldn't make much difference.

I think deep down you will know whether your feelings for him exceed the effort required to help out a little in the upbringing of a child.

People often give advice based on their own experiences, another good way is to ask several people, you will then realise that the chances of this working out are not much different than if he was simply single and unmarried.

Oliver

I can try to give you a bit of help from my point of view because I'm in a very similar situation. I'm 23, my boyfriend is 25 and has a 2 yr old daughter. My boyfriend is an amazing guy and is the best thing to happen to me and I wouldn't have found that out if I wasn't willing to try. I'm so glad I did. Your friend said it will cause nothing but hurt, every relationship has the potential to cause hurt. Remember you are only going to be seeing each other/ dating to start and from there see how it goes. Just be honest with him by how your feeling. This guy is going to have enough troubles and worries about being a single Dad and is probably scared also. He has two to think of but he is still young, and wants to keep friends and be able to have laughs and good times also. One thing I decided was I didn't want to see my boyfriend as anything less because he wants to be a good Dad if anything it shows that these guys are caring guys, tell me if you know anyone that doesn't want a caring boyfriend with a bit of maturity. I gave it a chance and I totaly fell in love with him and his daughter.

This is just in my case, and I'll be honest it is very trying sometimes when you feel your getting overloaded but if you guys are friends you'll be able to work and talk through it. You would most likley be his best friend/girlfriend not his wife or his childs mother you don't have to worry about that for a bit!!

I hope in some way or anyway I have helped. I fyou would like anymore info let me know. It is definatly not the easiest situation!!

ok heres the story..... I am 21 and I am currently talking to a 25 year old guy who has a 1year old child. Actually this guy was my childhood crush. We were both in love with each other when were around 8-13yr old. So its kinda cool because we havent seen each other in about ten years and now he has came back in my life. He does have a child and I dont have any children. I mean dont get me wrong I love childern, but one of my friends is in a relationship with a man with a child and she has warned me "DO NOT DO IT!!" She said it will cause nothing but hurt. She was told me go out with him and have fun but whatever you do dont get serious!! But I do like him a lot and I dont know if I wanna just say forget it without ever trying it. Will someone give me some advice that is maybe in this same situation or has been through this kinda thing.