My MM had told me that his marriage/ roommate situation is coming to a head. I understand this to be a common MM thing. Keep the girlfriend around by saying the marriage is over, yada, yada, yada.
Well, it is all lawyers and money now. I never thought he would ACTUALLY get divorced. I'm kind of scared because I now feel like he left her for me. I know that is not the case, but still. As if our relationship has a million expectations on it.
I want him to get divorced and I want to be with him. I just never knew that there was going to be so many scary feelings to go along with it.
Even if he signs the papers, this doesn't guarantee you a thing. All you have is time. Time to let him deal with the loss of his marriage and family. To be alone for a while..People can't just jump out of a marriage and boom - Right into another relationship and start a whole new life.
Even if he signs the papers, this doesn't guarantee you a thing. All you have is time. Time to let him deal with the loss of his marriage and family. To be alone for a while..People can't just jump out of a marriage and boom - Right into another relationship and start a whole new life.
This is very sound advice.
The actual divorce proceedings is a whole other ball game. Supporting him is one thing, carrying his "stuff" baggage is another. It would be beneficial for you and him to remain in separate dwellings until there has been a ruling of the Court. Divorce is nasty no matter who does the leaving and emotions run high! You do not need to be in that cross fire and carry the burden. It's not yours to carry.
My MM had told me that his marriage/ roommate situation is coming to a head. I understand this to be a common MM thing. Keep the girlfriend around by saying the marriage is over, yada, yada, yada.
Well, it is all lawyers and money now. I never thought he would ACTUALLY get divorced. I'm kind of scared because I now feel like he left her for me. I know that is not the case, but still. As if our relationship has a million expectations on it.
I want him to get divorced and I want to be with him. I just never knew that there was going to be so many scary feelings to go along with it.
I am just glad to hear that it really does happen. A MM can "Acually" get a divorce!! WOW!
Actually, when he told me, all I could do was ask him if they had exhausted all of their options. I wasn't happy or feeling like I'd won or anything like that. I want my MM to be happy. AND if staying in his marriage was the best thing, so be it. They have a son, and I know that child is his life.
Like so many OW, I don't ask about his wife. I knew there were problems. Duh, or I wouldn't be here.
This is some weird water I am treading. I'm scared (I have big time commitment issues....even before this A). I want to hold him and give him the world. I also want to just be devoid of this whole situation. I am one of those people who realizes that after a year or so, the chemicals wear off.
My MM had told me that his marriage/ roommate situation is coming to a head. I understand this to be a common MM thing. Keep the girlfriend around by saying the marriage is over, yada, yada, yada.
Well, it is all lawyers and money now. I never thought he would ACTUALLY get divorced. I'm kind of scared because I now feel like he left her for me. I know that is not the case, but still. As if our relationship has a million expectations on it.
I want him to get divorced and I want to be with him. I just never knew that there was going to be so many scary feelings to go along with it.
Well good for both of you, You will finally leave your place as an OW, who knows maybe you will be his NEW wife now. Just watch his back because he might stray, Most married man that stray find a women who will occupy the position. They will grab the easier target anyway they can. Congrats.
__________________ Happiness is not a state to arrive, but a manner of traveling.
Thank you for this post. This is proof that if a MM wants to leave a marriage for whatever reason, he will. The fact that his child is his life and he got a divorce shows that you can be a good parent and still get divorced because the marriage didn't work. This is reality and it does happen all the time.
__________________
We all make choices, it's called free will.
Well good for both of you, You will finally leave your place as an OW, who knows maybe you will be his NEW wife now. Just watch his back because he might stray, Most married man that stray find a women who will occupy the position. They will grab the easier target anyway they can. Congrats.
No, Smoochygirl. I don't want to be his new wife. I wish that the people that responded to these posts lived in reality and understood that life isn't so cut and dry.
What is hard to grasp is that the heart wants what is wants. The brain can do its best to try to override the situation, but the heart wins out. Every time. Call it an excuse. Call it what you want. Don't turn on the radio, though. Because when you do, a song about the pain of love is going to be on.
I don't want to be the OW. I want people to know we are together. I miss him and I love him and he scares the **** out of me. I want him to be happy and I want to be happy, too.
I've told him that there will be an ending. And there will be. I've always stuck to that. I'm doubting myself now that he is telling me his marriage is done.
Please, Please, Please... don't break out the champagne just yet. My MM was separated, living separately for 2 years. The divorce was well on the way, but kept getting delayed because of custody issues... Everyone knew they were getting divorced, everyone knew of us as a couple. For two years and then he decided he couldn't go through with it, he didn't want to be a part time dad. I was completely blindsided.. It's just never a sure thing...
No, Smoochygirl. I don't want to be his new wife. I wish that the people that responded to these posts lived in reality and understood that life isn't so cut and dry.
What is hard to grasp is that the heart wants what is wants. The brain can do its best to try to override the situation, but the heart wins out. Every time. Call it an excuse. Call it what you want. Don't turn on the radio, though. Because when you do, a song about the pain of love is going to be on.
I don't want to be the OW. I want people to know we are together. I miss him and I love him and he scares the **** out of me. I want him to be happy and I want to be happy, too.
I've told him that there will be an ending. And there will be. I've always stuck to that. I'm doubting myself now that he is telling me his marriage is done.
I don't mean anything bad in my comment. I am actually glad he is finally leaving his M. It is frustrating to play hide and seek. I wish you luck and hope that you will be good to his kids as well if any. And his STBXW will find an answer to everything after this D. Keep us posted:-)
I don't mean anything bad in my comment. I am actually glad he is finally leaving his M. It is frustrating to play hide and seek. I wish you luck and hope that you will be good to his kids as well if any. And his STBXW will find an answer to everything after this D. Keep us posted:-)
I agree. He did the right thing by leaving his marriage. That gives all three of you the opportunity to move on and find true love. Nothing wrong with that.
Who is busting out Champagne? Not me, that is for sure. My situation is that I always thought this was an affair...and just that. It was going to have an ending. Because he would never get divorced.
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