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Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 30th June 2001, 11:59 PM   #1
wick_ed
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telling him???

ok so i have been datting my boyfriend for two years and things are really good between us. we love eachother so much.

I'm 18 and we started datting when I was 16.

when we first started to go out things wern't so good.

he lived about 1h aways and we both didn't drive, we never saw eachother.

I had made up my mind about a month after we started dating that i was going to break up with him and i ended up kissing a nother guy.

when i went to go break up with him he was so nice and sweet that i couldn't and then things got better.

we started seeing eachother more and i started to really like him. i could see us together for a long time.

but at the same time i was to scared to tell him i cheated on him. and now i fell like it's been too long and now he could never forgive me. i don't know how to tell him
 
Old 1st July 2001, 3:56 AM   #2
???
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Re: telling him???

let sleeping dogs lye.
Quote:
ok so i have been datting my boyfriend for two years and things are really good between us. we love eachother so much. I'm 18 and we started datting when I was 16. when we first started to go out things wern't so good. he lived about 1h aways and we both didn't drive, we never saw eachother. I had made up my mind about a month after we started dating that i was going to break up with him and i ended up kissing a nother guy.

when i went to go break up with him he was so nice and sweet that i couldn't and then things got better. we started seeing eachother more and i started to really like him. i could see us together for a long time. but at the same time i was to scared to tell him i cheated on him. and now i fell like it's been too long and now he could never forgive me. i don't know how to tell him
 
Old 1st July 2001, 3:57 AM   #3
sparkle
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 772
Re: telling him???

Okay, you said that you have been dating him for two years. And a month after you started dating him, you kissed another guy. And you are thinking about telling him now?????

Do NOT tell him. It is TOTALLY POINTLESS of you to tell him. It serves NO purpose whatsoever. It has nothing to do with your relationship now.

Yeah, maybe it was not such a great idea for you to kiss that other guy. But if that's all you did, and you did it two years ago, forget about it! It's not a big deal. Forgive yourself and put it behind you.

Many people aren't very sure about how serious they are with their partner in the first couple of months, and many are even seeing other people at the same time. It isn't until both partners decide to be committed to each other that they stop kissing other people anyway. You were about to break up with him, you weren't serious about him, and so you kissed someone else.

It's not a big deal. Don't turn it into one. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not saying you should go around kissing other guys now. It was understandable and excusable at that particular time, not now. Just tell yourself you're sorry, forgive yourself, and never cheat on him again.

If you DID tell him, all it would do is make the relationship worse. You may lose his trust. He may make a big deal about it and about you cheating on him, and break up with you. And you will hurt him by telling him.

So...just FORGET about it, and never think about it again or mention it to him.

(Your post sounded way too simple, and now I'm wondering if I understood it correctly.)
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Old 1st July 2001, 4:13 AM   #4
Tony T
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Re: telling him???

What would be the reason for telling him anything? What you did is ancient history.

I don't know why people are so eager to want to tell partners they cheated on them. Now if you're calling kissing another guy while you were in an uncommitted relationship cheating you're way off the beat.

Why do people find it so hard to keep some things to themselves?

Forgive yourself and just forget the whole thing. Don't tell anybody.
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Old 1st July 2001, 1:07 PM   #5
marzipan75
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Re: telling him???

Okay,

first of all, you did not cheat on him. Cheating constitutes sleeping with another person or some other sexual act like it, kissing although personal is not exactly cheating. So you shared a kiss with someone else and it sounds like it was a long time ago. I hate to encourage dishonesty but why do you have to tell him about it? I would not tell him if I were you. It was one kiss and you've forgotten all about it because it obviously wasn't that important to you. If it wasn't that important to you and that person is not trying to pursue you or anything then just let it go. Why are you going to let something so meaningless ruin things now? Also, how do you know he hasn't had a similar experience during this troubled time you two were having? Guys are wonderful, but they're not angels either. My advice is to forget about it and let it go. nobody has to know but you so take it to the grave.
Quote:
ok so i have been datting my boyfriend for two years and things are really good between us. we love eachother so much. I'm 18 and we started datting when I was 16. when we first started to go out things wern't so good. he lived about 1h aways and we both didn't drive, we never saw eachother. I had made up my mind about a month after we started dating that i was going to break up with him and i ended up kissing a nother guy.

when i went to go break up with him he was so nice and sweet that i couldn't and then things got better. we started seeing eachother more and i started to really like him. i could see us together for a long time. but at the same time i was to scared to tell him i cheated on him. and now i fell like it's been too long and now he could never forgive me. i don't know how to tell him
 
 

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