[krknose]

hey. in need of some help, i think. couple years ago i went out with a girl i'd admired for ages. needless to say it ended, quite badly to be honest. it was my fault and i was young etc. i was the one who broke up with her, for no real reason. well, reasons but petty ones. i never did tell her why. she then went out with a guy for a while, it was a pretty long-term relationship but he cheated on her with some other girl. since their break up i've been speaking to her alot. since we went out we've been really close and whenever we're in the same group of friends we spend most of our time together. we go out together and go places and such. usually we end up doing stuff, as juvenile as that sounds i'd like to hope it's because we just feel comfortable with each other. comfortable is good right? about 2 months ago we came together again and the morning after i realised? i wanted to give it another go. she emailed me later on in the day and said,' where should we go from here?' i took that to mean she wanted to start a relationship again? i emailed her back saying i didn't think it was a good idea. again there are reasons, this time quite significant. she replied and said she'd thought about it, and actually agrees with me. i really do still love her to bits and would like nothing more than to enjoy a relationship with her. help?
also just read through, kind of sounds like i only want what i can't have or something,...yeah. that doesn't really have any bearing in this situation.

[Alexandra-Girl]

If you want to start again, you need to cut out the intimacy crudd and court her like a gentleman. I mean ask her out on a date vis-a-vis the telephone. NOT TEXT MSG.

Take her to a nice resturaunt, then take a walk in a park. Drop her off at her house and kiss her on the cheek goodnight. End the night early around 9 pm. NOTHING MORE, nothing less.

Email her the next day and tell her that you enjoyed the night together and would like to take her out on another date in the near future - not too near though - give it 2 weeks. You need to build that anticipation, otherwise you will both feel like used furniture. *Which sounds like she already does given her response. She wouldn't have asked about a future if she didn't perceive there to be one. You shot her down, she rescinded her question in defence*

This is your shot. Take it or leave it. FWB = NOT COOL and it is a zero-sum game where ONE almost always looses.

Good luck.
Alex

[krknose]

hmm, thanks very much for the advice, and make no mistake it's stellar. however, the main reason i, 'shot her down' was due to the fact that i thought it would end up with me getting too attached. unfortunately that isn't a good thing as i have good reason to believe something would end up going wrong. more likely due to something of her doing, cold feet maybe? no idea but thats my reason, trust me, i'm tired of just messing around. i'll try what you suggested though, i do rather enjoy eating.