[Nichole.cull]

September marks 3 years for my fiance and I, our son will also be 2 in september, and we have just recently found out that we are 10 weeks along with our second child. we've also lived together for over 2 1/2 years now. anyway Over a year ago we decided to get married on April 20th. Plans fell through and we went through some rough patches and ended up taking a break from eachother for a month. July of 06 he finally proposed the "right way" i guess you could say, and he went and got the ring and got down on one knee and everything. i thook this as a sighn that things were finally starting to look up for us. we set a date for Aug 29 07. we decided not to do anything great or grand since we have a 2 year old and one on the way and money would be to tight this year to have the "dream wedding" so we settled on the idea of a court house wedding. well we started getting close and i was getting more and more excited about us finally getting married the first week of aug. he decides that were not ready to get married. so he calls off the wedding again. Im about to be 19 in october and about to have our second child. hes 23. i feel like its time for us to settle down. and i feel like its do or die. is he going to keep setting dates and calling it off, is it just cold feet, or has our relationship gone as far as its going to go and maybe its time for us to move on.....

[norajane]

He's the only one who can answer those questions for you. You have to sit down with him and have an in-depth conversation about what he is thinking. He's going to be a father for the second time soon, and you two need to make a decision about your lives together. Your kids need to have a stable home, whether it's with mom, or with mom and dad. This back and forth isn't going to be healthy for any of you.

[dropdeadlegs]

I can't imagine your disappointment. At the same time I can't imagine growing up as fast as you must have been forced to. Two kids at 19 (the first at nearly 17) has a way of accelerating growth.

As norajane said, only he can answer your questions. It sounds like HE is not ready versus the WE'RE not ready that you posted. You seem to be more than ready.

You are so young, yet I realize that you feel much older than your years due to motherhood and living with your BF since you were 16. Please use a good method of birth control before having more children with a man who is reluctant to marry you. I'm not necessarily pro-marriage, but if you desire marriage you need to be with a man who will honor that.

I give the same advice to me own son's GF, whom he has lived with for about 3 years, yet he has not married her, and their second child is due in December. Their first was born last November. They have no wedding date set. It's none of my business, but SHE definitely wants marriage. If he won't give that to her, she should look elsewhere, and at a young age with children, that might be harder.

[4Q2]

What will marriage change in the relationship?