should i tell my sister's husband that she's cheating on him?
she came to my town to attend my other sister's baby shower (we live together) and she decided to go to san antonio to meet one of her "girlfriends." she left her kids at my place while she went out of town and would call to check up on us. every time i would ask to talk to her "friend," my sister would claim she was in the shower or standing in line at a video rental store. i didn't believe a word of it. when she came back to our place, i looked inside her suitcase and found condoms. i pretty much knew what had happened.
i really like my sister's husband, but i think my sister used him just to have kids and start the "perfect family."
I would stay out of it. First of all, she's your sister and telling her husband would cause problems with your whole family. Secondly, you don't know if anything really happened.
Why don't you try just asking her? Plus, why were you asking to speak to her friend anyways? Do you know the person she was supposed to be going with? I just thought that sounded strange.
she came to my town to attend my other sister's baby shower (we live together) and she decided to go to san antonio to meet one of her "girlfriends." she left her kids at my place while she went out of town and would call to check up on us. every time i would ask to talk to her "friend," my sister would claim she was in the shower or standing in line at a video rental store. i didn't believe a word of it. when she came back to our place, i looked inside her suitcase and found condoms. i pretty much knew what had happened.
i really like my sister's husband, but i think my sister used him just to have kids and start the "perfect family."
what would you do if you were in my situation?
Yikes.. sticky situation. Im sure she is expecting you to keep your mouth shut because she IS your sister. I would have a talk with her and see if you can get her to give you some real info. Even though it seems obvious what she is up to, you really only have potential lies that she told you and condoms in the suitcase. Wait til you have solid proof that she is cheating before you do anything. Are you the type of sisters who are super close and tell each other everything?
If she wont give you any info and swears that nothing is going on, i would tell her that you will not be babysitting her kids so she can go out and have her affair. You can tell her you dont want to be involved in it and just stay out of it. If it was me, i wouldnt necessarily tell her H, i think that is their business as long as you stay un-involved. But if you really feel like you should get involved, i would make subtle hints to the H, ask him about the 'friend' she supposedly went to see, find out how much he knows aboutt the situation.
Lol, whoops-sorry bout that.. Ok, then are you and the sis really close? Does she tell you details about her life/family? I would really personally stay out of it unless she continues to pawn off her kids on you so she can go be with her lover. Thats definitely not cool. Stay un-involved unless she keeps trying to drag you into the whole mess. Only then would i let hubby know.
she came to my town to attend my other sister's baby shower (we live together) and she decided to go to san antonio to meet one of her "girlfriends." she left her kids at my place while she went out of town and would call to check up on us. every time i would ask to talk to her "friend," my sister would claim she was in the shower or standing in line at a video rental store. i didn't believe a word of it. when she came back to our place, i looked inside her suitcase and found condoms. i pretty much knew what had happened.
i really like my sister's husband, but i think my sister used him just to have kids and start the "perfect family."
what would you do if you were in my situation?
No, you tell your sister that you know she is cheating, so SHE is aware of your eyes watching her...
But, until you have actually 'seen' her in action I wouldn't say a word. Yes, the condoms are a sign of 'something' but you really don't have proof.
I read your post again...and finding condoms in her suitcase is not a 'proof'... unless you actually catch her, you have absolutely no proof...and her husband will hate you for destroying their marriage.
First of all, you had no business in her suitcase.... geezzz
I would personally mind my own business. Now, if the shoe was on the other foot and you knew he was cheating on your sister, then of course tell her. But that isn't the case. So stay out of it. That's your sister, you don't do things like that.
I would say something, she's playing with her husbands life by possibly spreading STDs to him!
__________________ -You don't know the Power of the Dark side! - I find your lack of faith disturbing! -The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force! - Darth Vader
Talk to your sister first. Ask her what is going on. Tell her what you suspect. Tell her that it bothers you and why it is wrong. Lay boundaries with her, make sure she knows that she loves you but then tell her that you do not condone and will not support such behavior. Tell her that you will not be party to such deception. Let her know that she is welcome to come and visit you provided that she is actually coming to visit you and not using it as a convienient excuse. If she cannot do that then she is not welcome.
What does your other sister think? Does she know/suspect? I would talk to her before you talk to your brother-in-law. Yes, he would probably want to know, but give your sister the chance to make things right first. She should own up to the problems in her marriage and make attempts to rectify them either through divorce or counseling. If she shows no signs of changing after you talk to her, then consider dropping hints. Maybe he already is suspicious and that will give him what he needs to figure things out on his own.
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Wow, I could have written your post (all the way down to being used to watch the kids under false pretenses) except it was our best friends. He travels a lot on his job and his W confessed to my spouse that on a night she asked us to sit while a "old friend" was in town, she instead met and slept with her ex H. I agonized for days over what to do and finally decided that, since my friend was blissfully happy in their M, I wasn't going to drop the bomb on their life together.
However, I did do this - I told my W to tell her that I knew. And to tell her that if I ever suspected anything similar was happening, I'd blow the whistle right away. Shortly after that, they moved to another city. Coincidence? I don't think so...
There is something shady going on. Why leave the kids? and why have condoms when you are married. Not to say that married people don't use condoms, but why have them when you're husband is not there. I know, I know, you might say she had them there before from previously travelling with her husband and they bought condoms or something. That's sounds too far fetch. Your sister is up to no good. You have no proof and believe me she is not going to tell you. Just lay low and eventually, if she is cheating, the truth will come out.
I agree w Lizzie (for once!) that you have no proof. I also agree you don't say a word to her H (I'm a guy too). Talk to her sister-to-sister about what you suspect and add that "if I suspect it he easily could too". Encourage her to be honest - I assume he deserves at least that.
I also wouldn't be her babysitter while she's out playing around - if she is .
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