I would just like everyones opinions on things you should do and things you shouldnt do. Things that are okay, and things that are not. Things you should expect from your partner and things that if they happen, should cause a breakup. I would like as many peoples input as possible. Thanks ahead of time.
P.S. Im talkin serious relationships, like when you live together or have been together for a long time.
well for me.....
Breaking Up = kissing someone else (not a peck, but with motive), sleeping with another, doing any drug except pot, a massive lie- cannot think of an example though, abusiveness (physical, verbal, etc..)
i do believe that major things should be disclosed as well, such as: any STD's, any children, past marriages, jail time, past and current medical and mental health issues, debts, all that stuff that makes you the person you are.....
__________________ Glitter: The herpes of craft supplies.
~Demitri Martin
Manders, I think that this is a very subjective question and can be really hard to answer since every relationship and every situation is completely different.
As far as a general guideline, I would have to say that some of this depends on you and your spouses backgrounds, lifestyles, and any emotional or sexual attitudes, issues, or agreements you have made. In any relationship there should be known boundaries and consequences for crossing those boundaries.
Personally, after have spent a lot of time on here before before posting, I have noticed that some people on here judge couples who have had open-relationships, or used religious reasons to scold them for their behavior. While I am definitely no expert, and can't even seem to keep the two 'monogamous' marriages I had together, sometimes couples are better off with open marriages or relationships. Not that I am advocating that or anything. I've just written a few papers on sexuality and are aware of some of the surprising statistics that measure over-all well-being between those who practice open relationships compared to those who practice the ol' monogamous standby and the results are surprising. Swingers tend to be more open and honest about more than just their sexuality, compared to their monogamous counterparts. Anyway, I'm getting off topic on that, so I'll end there with 'just don't be so quick to just some of these people's relationships that aren't traditional and blame all the issues they may have on their sexual preferences or throw the bible at them.'
La Rubia, I like your answer about pot. Made me smile. Personally, I think I would be a nervous wreck over the crap I'm dealing with if I wasn't self medicating a bit.
Don't lie. Honestly, that's been the one overrriding theme in any relationship failure I've had. I don't know what I might have been able to deal with or get over had I been given the chance, because I have yet to get the chance. When in doubt, tell the truth -even if the truth is bad.
I love my husband, but I'm going to have to leave him because he's a liar. See? don't lie. Isn't that something?
I think I could've even forgiven ONE affair. But he just keeps lying - so I don't know where it ends.
Oops - yeah - so my advice: don't lie.
__________________
"I do," "I'll never lay a hand on you," and "The check's in the mail" are my favorite lies.
I'm with New_Wife. Don't lie. Ever. Even if the truth hurts, we'd rather know about the truth than you lying about it. That is something most people find it hard to do but it keeps you out of trouble.
Don't ever hit a woman. I think that's a cowardly act.
I don't know about other women but I am fine with my man looking at other women as long as he does it in front of me. In fact, if he comes home and told me he came across a hot woman just now - I'm fine with it. That's him telling me about it - good enough.
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Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it - Morrie Schwartz
HOW TO BE HONEST AND COURAGOUS
AND I HAVE NEVER EVEN GLANCED AT ANOTHER WOMAN WHEN SHE IS BY MY SIDE
SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ALL I NEED AND WANT
I WISH I KNEW HOW TO CONTACT HER AS I WOULD LIKE TO HELP HER WORKING ON SOME ISSUES AND I WANTED TO KNOW HER THOUGHTS ON AN IMPORTANT ISSUE/PROPOSAL/THOUGHTS ON RINGS AND MARRIAGE - SHE ONCE TOLD ME SHE WOULD NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN AND I WAS CURIOUS IF SHE STILL HELD THAT BELIEF
BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET HER IN ANY WAY UPSET SO ITS KINDA DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW
Lying is not acceptable..... neither is cheating- deception would be a deal breaker for me.
Being on the same page with regards to money is important if you are living together.
Mutual respect of eachothers interests, and acceptance of the little differences.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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