When my ex broke up with me (8 weeks now) she pleaded with me to be friends. I never wanted to,, but as she said i could still be part of her kids lives (who i was very close to) i agreed. Let me say at this point that as much as i know that this girl was not stable, and that i am better off without her, like so many we miss them, but im getting much stronger as each day goes by.
Anyway about 2 weeks after the split we were still quite intimate etc, but then she text me that she had been seeing someone new (at the same time that we were still intimate on the phone) So at her request i went into no contact (she said she will contact me) Anyway of course i was very upset at the fact that i could'nt call etc to say hi, but none the less to this day have been in no contact. I then sent back all her stuff, with no note, and walked away. There is not a chance that i will bump into her as it was a ldr. I feel pleased that i have respected myself too.
I cant help though but feel that a) i devalued our relaltionship by agreeing to be freinds, and b) that i have had no closure. i have to say that she did treat me in a bad way since the split, in wanting to be freinds then trowing me aside as the new guy was jelous. I have realised that this was all for her own self asteem to hear that she was still loved etc. I since seen her on msn, but just click off it etc, as i feel that im getting better, and starting to be me again. I know she was very self centered and h. maintenance. I guess the only thing i feel is that i had no real closure or never said bye to the kids, but in a way, i feel that for their sakes its better that im not in their lives, because they loved me, and i dont want to confuse them, and best to leave them all to it. Its been very hard, but im comming through it, and hoping that in the future, maybe i can be a freind. I know she will always talk to me, but i know that this can land me right back to square one. I guess i would still like her to know that i was there for the long term, and would have sold and moved up if she had delt with her issues, but ii dont think that she would have, so feel i did the right thing by staying put here. I guess im feeling a little down today as this day last year she helped me at a gig and im doing the same one tonight and i know it will bring back memories. Its funny but i feel if i log on msn, she 'll be there, but i feel i have been so strong over the last 3 weeks, and i dont want to slip back.
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Since my break-up, iv been re discovering myself........what i found was i like what i discoverd !!
Hey hun, well as you may have seen i did the same last night, and to be honests i wish i hadnt, untill your strong enough not to care if she is online or not, if she has pictures of her and her new man up their or not.. its really not worth it.
Closure can only come from you not the other person....im ashamed to say it took me 5 years to egt over my first love.. and how i did.. he cheated on his fiance with me. ( i could never hold him a pedestal after that) no im not proud of it but it worked.
Msn is a wonderful thing to hide behind, if she really wanted to talk to you she would call,
do u think i devalued he relationship by agreeing to be friends? Do u think i should email her to let her know that i did want the whole hog, and that i really loved the whole family lots? or should i just do what im doing and say nothing ?
No i dont think you devalued it, i thinkyou showed you care. same as when people chase thier ex's for a while rather than sut walk away, it shows they think they are worth the fight, but she obviosly had lttle espect for you, you have now done the right thing by waking away.
No an email wont be right... not while she is seeing another at least.
She will know, what you wanted deep down, but she is chosing to ignore it at the moment.
You say that you have moved on, but it sounds as if you are still emotionally attatched. When she said she wanted to be friends it sounds to me like this gave you hopes of something more. It's over and she has proved this by moving on with her life. Her breaking contact with you has nothing to do with the guy being jealous. It is about her respecting him, just as he should respect her.
Judging by your expectations, which by the way she owes you nothing, you are the self centered one here.
Work on you and getting yourself better. You say you are, but I think you are saying it just for the sake of saying it because you have contradicted every point of doing so in this post.
You also say she is unstable and make other claims as to why she is a bad woman.. So what gives? If what you claim is true isn't the break up a blessing?
yes ypur right just wanted to hear it. I feel that she has been really selfish in the way she treated me and my feelings, and it all points to her personality. How someone can cry and kiss you on the lips to be freinds, and say that they want to vist you and i can still be part of the kids lives, and me being of sane mind you feel you are very important to them, and then they just toss you aside is beyond me, and i think that its not the breakup, but the treatment i got sinse the spit that hurt me. I think the only language these people understand is the silent one. Im just having a small lapse in strenth today, as i know shes at home on her own thurs and fri, and the gig tonight and stuff. I am chatting with a great girl at the mo, but im sort of half into it, but will keep going for the time being. And ex new i was gonna get dating soon. Im having one of those days where im forgeting the bad and remembering the good times. BE STRONG....................
dbt read 'goodbye my lady' youll get the gist id like to hear what your opinion of this women is of her as a person. Yes you make some valid points and im on the up for a few weeks, but today i had a little downer. You can still love someone even though its not right. Yes im a little self centered, and yes i do miss the family. Im not sure how there getting on as last time she said he was contacting his ex, and i have respected that she has told me not to contact her for the new relationship. Thats why i havent contacted her. Im not saying im 100% never did but im doing what i have to do to feel better as fast as poss. Thats all we want....to heal.
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