Hello,

I can barely type this right now through my immense heartache. My girlfriend of 2 and half years, who I have lived with for nearly the whole time we've been together, got in an argument today. During our fight several things were brought up.

She metioned how we have different ideas of "fun" activities as well as how sometimes she sees us getting married but other times she sees us as best friends. This argument came about over the amount of sex recently.

The last month she has had a new job which requires her to live at her parents house which is about an hour away. Thus, because of our busy schedules we don't see each other Monday through Thursday but she drives up to our place for the weekend.

Well anyway the crux of the arguement came down to the fact that she sometimes thinks she needs to be independent (without a boyfriend). I am her first long term relationship and boyfriend although we are almost 23 years old now.

My suggestion was that she have a week to think over what she wants to do: be alone, or continue being with me.

To further complicate the situation she is applying to medical school and may have to move to a place far away. I am willing to move with her though.

ANYWAY, DID I DO THE RIGHT THING? Have I lost her? I feel the very strong need to see or talk to her. What should I do? Is are relationship over? Do we still have a chance? Please help...

heartbroken and destroyed

[Dragonflys]

Hi

Gee, I'm trying to think of something hopeful to say.

It sounds to me she is being honest with you. In a nutshell, wherever she is planning to go with her life right now, you don't seem to fit those plans. Maybe nobody can, she just needs time to build her life herself.

And regarding the sex?..has there not been enough of late?.is there a level of dissatisfaction from her?..that is a big one.

This is tricky because you two are living together. I don't see much that you can do. Just don't pressure her and let her have that independance if she wants. Give her space to work out how much she cares about you.

Don't follow her...there are warning signs here and she is either ready to move on from you, or is disillusioned. Hopefully for your sake it is the latter, but this will only mend if you let her work it out for herself.

Sorry I couldn't say anything more positive