[newquaychick]

hi people, im 21 female been married for a year now and been in the relationship for around 4 years in total, the relationship hasn't been the best from the start as my husband has cheated on me continuasly pretty much from day one although i didnt find out straight away. we worked through the things he did in the past and our relationship became stronger and much better although it was a long distance relationship for the middle 2 years as he is in the navy. i am from the uk and he is american therefore i have left england to be with him which means i have left my family and friends behind, when entering the relationship i though i could handle it but now im havin second thoughts. we recently moved into a new appartment together and because i am currently unable to work he is the main earner so i dnt feel i have any indeoendance, he is 8 years older than me and i feel as though i dont have much of a say in anything at all, he is a nice guy i love him but there is soooo much i dnt like about him that i am only recently learning i have been feeling lonely and i suppose depressed for a long time now i dont have any friends out here and no one to talk to other than him, which i find difficult to do eg: i find it difficult to ask for money to buy some excercise gear never mind talk about how i feel. i go back to england in 4 weeks while he goes out on ship duty for 6 months and i dnt think i will want to come back once i have been home for that long i know he wont leave america to come be with me in england and i think i may end up having to tell him i want a divorce but the thing is because i dont have any money or anywhere to go out here i would have to do it over the phone while back home i need help and advice on what people think is the best solution.

[Bobster999]

Tell him that you need to be close to family and friends---if he doesn't agree---tell him unfortunately there will be a divorce. Life is to short to be miserable.

[notspiritual]

i am currently unable to work he is the main earner so i dnt feel i have any indeoendance

It is your responsibility to find your way to earn a living, not his.
You have plenty of independance: you have plenty of time as you do not work and he’s away for 6 months.

i dont have any friends out here and no one to talk to other than him

It is your responsibility to make new friends, not his

i find it difficult to ask for money to buy some excercise gear never mind talk about how i feel.

What you find difficult is your own issue, not his. He cannot read your mind if you don’t talk about how you feel.

i know he wont leave america to come be with me in england

How will you two live in England if he has to quit his job? Give him real solutions.

I suggest you put in some more efforts in the marriage before you decide to quit. There are plenty of area for improvements on your side to work on: take responsibility for your own financial independence, take responsibility to make new friends, learn to better communicate with him. Get real. Don't blame him or punish him for something which is under your responsibility.