[JackJack]

My wife has a friend, and they have known each other for about 10 years now maybe a little longer. They haven't been on the best terms over the past few months but they do still talk some.

This friend of hers, has always been one to tell my wife of anything bad going on in her life. Which mostly the whole 10 years she has known her, things in this womans relationship/situation has always been pretty rocky. My wife being the kind soul she is and good friend, has always been one to listen and offer advice if needed.

Now, as I said this friend of hers has always told of her bad/negative things going on in her life. Once in while there will be something good for her to talk about, but mostly not. So its been to my understanding and my wifes that her life has always been in some kind of funk. That is up until recently.

I do believe people can change don't get me wrong. But it seems her friends situation changed alomost overnight. It went from her bashing her husband and her sucky life with him, and vice versa, to him being so nice and sweet, and loving and things were just peachy keen.

Now, heres the thing, my wife has always been told the bad crappy stuff about their situation, well it seems now, word on the street is, her relationship has changed for the better but its the first my wife has heard of it.

They aren't like best friends or anything, but I would say good friends. My wife has been hearing this from others they both know and family memebers etc. What is just weird to her and me I guess is, how come it is, that my wife gets told all the bad negative things that went on, but now that things are all of a sudden better, shes telling everyone else how good things are in her situation except my wife?

I would think if something in someones life was as good as they say it is, they would want to share it with most all people they know, right? Heres another thing, these other people who know about her life changing for the better, also are not ones that really know of how bad her situation was before either. Only my wife really knows about all that. So is this like a front or something this friend is putting on? Are things not really what they seem?

Why have no problem telling a person of all the bad things happening in your life, but when something good happens, you don't share that information too?

[VirtualInsanity]

Maybe she hasn't had a chance to tell her yet? That is odd.

Has she talked to her friend lately? If so did she mention anything?

Hopefully she's not using your W only as a person to vent at.

[JackJack]

Originally Posted by VirtualInsanity

Maybe she hasn't had a chance to tell her yet? That is odd.

Has she talked to her friend lately? If so did she mention anything?

Hopefully she's not using your W only as a person to vent at.

Well thats possible I guess. But, anytime she has talked to my wife, it has not been mentioned about how great things are between her and her husband and their whole situation.

I asked my wife if she had asked her friend how things were with her husband, and she said she has asked. But her friend just says they are fine, and leaves it at that, no details or anything.

I told her that she needs to tell her she was hearing from others that things with her situation was alot better, and it was good to hear that etc, Maybe that would make her feel good and get the ball rolling for her to tell her these good things. I think my wifes thinking is, she wanted her friend to tell her own her on.

I guess its not a real big deal, it just seemed odd that someone would be eager to share or vent about bad things in their life over the past 10 years, then the minute something good happens theres no mention of that.

[Ripples]

Maybe the friend has been going on for so long about how crappy her marriage is, that to turn around now and say 'oh he's wonderful, our marriage is just the best thing in the world' makes a mockery of anything she's said before to your wife. It makes it seem that she's contradicting herself.

[Fun2BMe]

Well, you say that the friends and family don't know how bad her situation was, but now that it is supposedly good, they know and not your wife. It sounds like she is not close to the others as she is with your wife, considering she has been sharing the bad things only with your wife.

Maybe this upset her husband, so she felt pressured to pretend everything is ok. If it really was, she'd start to talk about it, but since it's not, she doesn't want to admit it to your wife so that the others don't find out how bad things are. I really doubt things are much better than before. I feel bad that she doesn't have anyone she can openly talk to. Maybe she senses your wife is tired of her and knows that the moment she opens her mouth, you and your wife are going to spill the beans to everyone else about how miserable she is and the word will come back to her husband.

Or maybe she is upset that your wife has good things to say about her marriage and she doesn't. Maybe if for a change your wife talks about something bad that has happened in her marriage, she can feel more open to go back to her complaining mode and not feel so vulernable. Or maybe you and your wife can visit her and her husband to determine for yourselves how their marriage is doing.

[JackJack]

Thanks Ripples, and Fun2BMe.

I'm thinking it's probably a little of what you both said.

Ripples, yes is is kind of contridicting after things being so bad for so long. And like I said, I do believe things can change, and situations can get bretter, but with theirs, it seems it kind of happned over night, and I'm not so sure about that.


Fun2BMe, yes, I'm thinking the fact that some of these other people who don't know the whole story and all the bad things that have happened, its easier for her to tell good things if its all they know from her. I also think its possible she has not mentioned to my wife all the good things happening because she knows my wife knows thats probably not so.

"Maybe she senses your wife is tired of her"

I think this is possible as well. My wife even mentioned to me before she thought her friend knew she was getting tired of hearing all her sob stories. And, her friend likes to play the victim role as long as she can, and even though my wife had been a good friend to her and was there for her, I think she kind of got tired of hearing the same old story over and over and her do nothing about it.