Are you a sociable person in general but get awkward around attractive people?
I hear so many stories about people getting stumped when talking to or be around attractive people, particularly the ones of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay). I hear about suggestions on how to talk to the hot ones, as if they're a different species, or try to imagine them as average at least. Loss of words, stuttering, fleeting glances, saying the wrong things constantly, etc. Are you generally sociable but act noticeably different around attractive members other than flirting and the like?
I generally consider myself to be a very sociable person.
I pretty much get along with everyone. When I was in high school, my friends ranged from the Dungeons & Dragons players to the wrestling team, and even as far as the cheerleaders. I was the "cool geek" in high school, I guess.
But yes, sometimes when I'm around very attractive women, I get a little awkward. At my new job, we have a plethora of VERY attractive young college-age students, any one of which would be a great umm... fling.
I was a little "Whoa!" at first when I met most of them, but now, they're just my girls. Since I'm just about the oldest one there (well, like 3rd oldest, I think), and being relatively new there, and quite talkative (of course), they seem to have some sort of odd fascination with me.
Of course, first rule of working in a restaurant: Make friends with the bartender. You be nice to me, I'll get your drinks out a lot faster, and prettier. When it's not too busy, I cut really cute fruit garnishes for the drinks, I KNOW it's making them MORE money.
Also, I love to flirt with the chicks. They are sooooooo adorable. LOL
-tp
Big Poppa to another generation.
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I hear so many stories about people getting stumped when talking to or be around attractive people, particularly the ones of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay). I hear about suggestions on how to talk to the hot ones, as if they're a different species, or try to imagine them as average at least. Loss of words, stuttering, fleeting glances, saying the wrong things constantly, etc. Are you generally sociable but act noticeably different around attractive members other than flirting and the like?
With me it depends on the day. Some days I can open up to just about anyone and then for some reason I have days where its difficult for me to talk to someone. I will say that when someone has a smile on their face, it makes it alot easier to talk to them.
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Minds are like parachutes......they only work when open.
I can be really sociable on rare occasion or I can merely appear sociable almost all the time and the attractiveness, or lack thereof, of the women changes nothing.
I work in the political arena which draws attractive women like moths to a light. I'm used to having them around me. I can also schmooze with the best of them when the need arises.
In actuality I have quite a shy streak but I learned years ago how to go into character and nobody knows or would believe that I'm truly not very sociable and actually prefer to be a loner.
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"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
Naah.. not now... yes when I was much younger.. and very self conscious... I really don't care to much if someone is really attractive.. Looks are like wall paper.. you will get used to it eventually.. and forget it is even there...
Personality... is key.. you can't see.. and it can stimulate.. the mind... so you don't forget.
as for being social able... I'd say yes.. I pretty comfortable in any setting.. be it bow tie.. suit and tie... all the way down to no shirt and bathing suit..
Getting nervous around exceptionally attractive people is simply a self-defense mechanism. One who lacks self confidence would display nervous behavior around someone who is extremely attractive.
The key here is to realize they are just like you. No better, no different. If you think you are unworthy of someone, you will be. If you think they are better than you, they are (in your mind).
Once you put yourself on a level playing field you'll notice that it doesn't matter how good looking they are, you won't get nervous or stumble over yourself talking to them.
You have to learn to love yourself and not care what others think about you. That comes with building confidence.
__________________ ...the purpose of a doormat is to wipe your feet on it, not love and respect it. - Balthazar
Wouldnt mind hearing a girl's standpoint on this..
While I agree with what some of the others say, as long as you level the field and see your worth equal or better than the attractive person - there shouldnt be problems. Although it's common for the opposite and same sex to want to be in the presence of an attractive person (as people have a tendency of associating positive stereotypes to the beautiful), I wouldnt be surprised if some people get socially awkward or intimidated by the beauty.
Personally Im not intimidated, whether its male or female. You can look a 10, but have the worst character/personality. Evidently if you see pass the looks and focus more about the character of the person can one see their true colors. I dont care what you look like or the age, as long as we have things in common we can associate with or you're a cool person to talk to - I see no problem in socializing with him/her.
It's not abnormal at all to initially feel awkward or a bit conscious around gorgeous people, socially or otherwise.
I don't think many people can be face-to-face with a gorgeous person and be able to overlook that completely. If you say you never noticed how beautiful / handsome they are, you'd be lying. It's a natural response, even infants react (positively) to attractive faces.
So, when you're looking at someone who's really beautiful, somewhere you tend to go into overdrive. Irrespective of whether it's a man or woman in question. And being in the overdrive mode mentally taxes you, hence the nervousness or stupefaction. Which translates as being socially inept in their presence.
Some people are able to carry themselves better when in the overdrive mode, so they are able to continue a conversation without stumbling. If I see a girl or guy who's extremely attractive, my first reaction would be "wow, he / she is so good-looking!", and then I'd try and stay with the flow of conversation.
This "saucer eyes" stage diminishes as you start knowing the person more and more. After a point, you get "used to" their looks, no matter how exceptional they might be.
yes - i tend to be extremely socialable when the situation calls for it - and can enjoy every person in the room and make them feel soooo important (male or female).
i never mind being alone either though...
and NO - i NEVER get intimidated by someones looks - male or female...
Who doesn't enjoy talking to pretty people? The only time I'll get shy about it is where I really have the hots for a particular man...and even then, I can talk away fairly easily. I just maybe don't flirt as much as I should, as I'm not terribly good at that.
I don't tend to get intimidated by other people, regardless of what they look like, and the only social situations I dread are those organised and attended by people who don't have great social skills. The kind of people who have nothing to talk about other than their neighbours, friends, colleagues and relatives. If you don't know any of the subjects of their gossip, then you're stuck. I've had one or two nightmare teeth-pulling sessions with people like that. I suspect they're what a4a fondly terms "the Kitchen Chicks".
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