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My take is that opposite sex of the same gender that were made before the relationship are fair game to hang out with whenever, even 1-on-1, but as soon as the relationship becomes official, you should be meeting that person, and every 2-3 times they hang out you should be invited, and you should almost always feel comfortable to say "I'm not doing anything can I come too." Opposite sex friends made during the relationship should be invited to group outings, not 1-on-1 events, until you have met that person several times and consider them your friend too.
And your SO should definitely spend more time, communicate more often, and be more intimate with you. They should always say "I hung out with so and so today" if they did; they should hide nothing; and they should include you often.
If your SO isn't doing this, and you bring it up, you are not being jealous, you are expressing your desire to be respected. You should know the important people in your SO's life, especially opposite sex friends. You should be given the opportunity to become friends with them too. They should know about you. My ex thought I was jealous because I wanted to meet some of her friends but she wouldn't let me because then her ex would find out she had moved on within a couple weeks of a 5 year relationship and feel hurt. That was bull****, I know that now. I wasn't jealous by saying "I want to feel like a priority; you always talk about these people, you've told me you loved me; I want to meet your friends. If you can't tell your ex you've moved on and are in a new relationship, it makes me feel disrespected and hurt." To her, that made me jealous and possessive. All I wanted was to feel important to her, included in her life, not hidden.
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