I live in a suburb, south of Boston. My boyfriend lives in Boston. It is approximately 40/45 minutes away. I love him very much. I wish that he did not move so far. He used to live about 20 minutes away. His move was job related. He also enjoys the city, as do I. Anyway, I was thinking about moving closer to him. Not too close though. It would also be to my benefit because I am hoping to get a job in the city. I can find better opportunity there. Is this a bad idea? I just want to be a little closer to him. I had a long(er) distance relationship before and it took its toll.

What do you think?

[Tony T]

If you really love this guy, go right ahead. But remember, if the relationship goes south, you'll have an apartment or home lease to honor. So you should move not only to be closer to your guy but because you will be happier with your surroundings and have better job opportunities.

Just make sure you'll have the finances to handle the costs of moving and living in your new place.

You might even discuss this with your boyfriend and see how he responds. However, this move should be for YOU and not for him. Moving should make you happy regardless of any other circumstances.

[Paulie]

I agree with Tony, whole-heartedly. One thing you should consider, is your motivation. Is he, in your mind, becoming hard-to-get, by his moving away? If so, then your moving closer will probably not help the relationship any.

If, however, you and he are secure in the relationship, and you're willing to put yourself out on the line like that, then by all means, go for it.

I definitely agree with Tony that you should see how he feels about this, though. Do you sense any other forms of "withdrawal" on his part, or is it just his moving geographically?

That's what you've got to consider