[OCGirl]

I met a really nice guy whose fiancee had passed away a month before. Yeah, I know, that should have been a clue but he had moved to my city and wanted to make new friends. In short, he pursued me like crazy. He kind of got a little clingy for awhile. Constantly leaving me messages that he missed all the time etc.
Then *poof* gone after Easter. He did send me an email saying the holidays were hard for him but read my two emails from him asking if he was okay but never answered. I wrote him off but noticied he kept viewing my myspace to this very day.
I guess what bothers me is why would someone do that? Was he guilty about pusuing me after such a short time? I wonder about that if he keeps checking up on me. I am really confused because generally if a guy loses interest he isn't the one making the effort to say he misses you and then disappear moments later only to keep checking up on you.

Any thoughts?

[Lauriebell82]

He probably realized he wasn't ready to date (understandable, his fiance just passed away), so he did the cowardly thing and just backed out slowly instead of actually telling you how he feels. He was probably confused though. He was trying to probably forget about his pain and his fiance and so he pursued you to try to replace the pain that he was feeling.

The myspace thing: Most likely the guy still cares for you but realizes he isn't ready to date. He might just be trying to keep up with your life (make sure you aren't dating anyway new) so that's why he keeps looking at your page. He may be using you as an option for when he is ready. Do you still talk to him? I'm sure he never told you any of this, I mean yes it was cowardly but I guess the guy is just confused about his pain and the fact that he does care about you. He may even feel guilty for liking you so soon after his fiance died. Just let it go, maybe stop "checking" to see if he's still keeping tabs on you. Keep dating, if he comes back to you when he's ready to date, you could give him another chance but make damn sure he's ready to be with you and not agonize over his pain.

[OCGirl]

Thank you! That was a very great outlook. It just seems silly but it really bothered me lol. Absolutely really incrediblely sweet guy but we never really spoke about the situation which could have been my fault because I never brought it up. I mean it was plastered all over his myspace in memorial about her and I figured he had been through enough and if he wanted to talk to me about it he would. Since he had his life fall apart and had to move to a new city, I thought maybe he wanted a new fresh start.

I don't talk to him which partially is my own defense mechanism I guess. I figured if he read my messages and obviously heard the concerned phone message I left him but still didn't have the nerve to return them while checking up on me (BTW his sister he also been checking up on me lol) that it was just better to remove him off my friendslist and let him go his way. I did tell him in the last message that I took his silence as he wasn't interested and wished he would at least say that but no matter what I wished him the best in life and what a nice person he was.

I noticied he moved yet again due to his ip address being in Las Vegas which is where he lived years ago before he got with his finace. What bothers me other than his checking up on me, is he pormotes my friend's band that I introduced him to on his page still. It's all just so weird. I would think someone would change all of that. He also wrote a message a couple days ago to his passed fiancee about how much he hurts and how his life is at a stand still because he can't seem to move on so that tends to make me feel that you are right.

I doubt I will ever find out why but I do agree with you. I couldn't imagine trying to move on without being a wreck after losing someone you love.