[badian]

It's been almost a year since my breakup with my ex. She's lives in Europe and professionally speaking, I had to come back to the states. I might go back for work there in a few months. And she wants to know if I will return. She says, "Well I'm here for you, if you need help with anything. "And that it would be good if I heard from you more often....and We can stay in touch.....right Brian?" "Are you happy?" She insist on keeping contact with me. And I never call her. Once a month she calls me...and tells me what's going on with her life. The funny thing is that she's in a relationship and claims she moved on......why does she still call me? In my eyes, we will never get back together, I will never see her family again and friends again....so why stay in contact.....for what?

I feel sorry for the slob of man she's with. I mean, I know she's not telling him. No man in his right mind would stand for that! Great, Strong, honest relationship! The next time, she calls I'm tempted to say: "Why stay in contact....we're not getting back together so, what do you want?" Is that too harsh? I feel flattered that she calls, and I'm over her. I just never expierenced this type of woman before. Any suggestions??? I respect myself and I don't let her know too much about my life when she calls, and I'm talking to two women right now, I don't let her know that....I feel it's none of her business. I just listen to her. The calls don't hurt me....but I think it's kind of funny.
But I also realize at the end of day, in this situation, ...it's about me and what is good for me. And I take all of this in humor.

By the way, I called her on the carpet about all of this a few months back. She insisted that she's moved on, in a relationship, and has plans, but wants to stay in contact. So, is there any harm in that? But I'm interested in both male and female responses and prespectives.

Thanks....BT

[upsetnhurt]

I think the question is "why do you allow contact????" and please don't say she is the one that initiates.......You answer her calls don't you? I tend to think that you are fighting to keep a cord alive with her as well and deep down still have some unresolved issues with her. Regardless.....you are right in that you need to do what's best for you and if you are not getting anything out of speaking with her, end it for good.