I have a great relationship with a wonderful girl.
We've been dating for more than 3 years.
Even though we're young (20-21), I can see us getting married.
Now, I'm an atheist and she's Catholic.
I feel pretty strong about my beliefs and she does about hers.
She insists on getting married in church and claims that marrying for the law doesn't feel like marrying to her.
She feels that I should just give up my stubbornness because "I don't believe anything anyway".
It's a matter of principle right?
To be honest, I feel all religious people are missing a screw - but that doesn't give me the right to tell her what to do.
I love my girlfriend very much, but what must I do?
To be honest, I feel all religious people are missing a screw - but that doesn't give me the right to tell her what to do.
I feel the same way.
Is she trying to push religion on you in other ways or does she just want the church wedding? If the issue is only about the wedding I wouldn't worry about it and let her have her dream wedding.
Catholicism is as traditional as you can get when it comes to religion, with it's rules and regs and formality. And if she wants to marry in the Church, you will have to undergo an intense marriage preparation to see if you guys are ready for marriage – there's no "I'm going to book the church on X day and just hold my dream wedding" because She takes the sacraments (and marriage is one) very VERY seriously.
__________________ "It's the longest Hail Mary pass in the history of either football or Marys," said Rep. Barney Frank, one of the chief bailout negotiators.
Last edited by quankanne; 17th April 2007 at 3:12 PM.
Is she trying to push religion on you in other ways or does she just want the church wedding? If the issue is only about the wedding I wouldn't worry about it and let her have her dream wedding.
Well, I was actually baptised myself and took first communion (don't know if that's a proper English term) and so on, more because it's a tradition around here (my parents are both atheist too).
I've been an atheist ever since I knew the meaning.
It just irritates me that she can't respect my beliefs and says I'm being selfish. I'm no more selfish that she is.
It's not as much the wedding itself as it is the fact that "everybody" feels that I should give in because atheism would not be a real belief.
She says she won't do anything else to push religion on to me, but I bet she wants the kids to be baptised and all.
Your going to have to come to some sort of an agreement. That's the way it is.
Sorry but this is what happends when you are with someone who is religious and your not. Conflict will occur unless you both can work through things. Where to get married isn't the only thing you'll have to deal with.
Well I tend to agree with your girlfriend when she says "you don't believe in anything anyway" - maybe there is a more delicate way to put it though.
My husband is a pretty strong southern Baptist Christian and I'm not, I've considered myself an atheist for years. He wanted a religious aspect to our wedding. We picked out some Bible passages. "Love is patient, etc..." and he picked a minister.
First person he chose was his ex-youth minister whom he remembered fondly, and the guy refused to marry couples who would not swear to being Christians
When it comes to him, I'm pretty soft-hearted. I figured since I didn't have a religious preference, and he did, I would let him call the shots because it was important to him. If you are going to be with someone who treasures their religion you can't underestimate how important it is to them. You can't trivialize it.
It's a part of being in a relationship, working things out. If you two truly care about each other, then you will come to some agreement that you can both handle. You both are going to have to make a sacrifice in order to make this work. Not just her, and not just you; BOTH.
My last relationship was with a girl who broke up with me because I was Atheist, and she was a very strong Christian. But that didn't stop her from sleeping with me on the first date...
I'm with you in that all people with religion have some sort of screw loose... but I'm glad to see that you two have worked things out this far when it comes to religion. This is just another obstacle that you two will be able to work through if you both truly love each other.
Is it that you dont believe in God or you just dont respect church?
By God I mean at least some supreme guarantee that all this around us is not just some weird coincidence or a silly joke.
You are evidently a strong young man. And you dont need assurance in your good-doing on every Sunday but you should know some people need that. They need churches, icons (blasphemy btw) and institutions.
Can you take catholic wedding in church as you are or you need to convert first? If not. Then just hold your fingers crossed behind back
If you are going to be with someone who treasures their religion you can't underestimate how important it is to them. You can't trivialize it.
true – even when it's marriage between people who are believers, because inevitably, there is going to be one who is going to place a stronger emphasis on his or her faith, so there are differences that will have to be worked out.
As someone who has been in a relationship where there were differing spiritual beliefs (Christianity vs. Islam), I can promise you that you are heading down a road of pain if you're not on the same page.
Where to have your wedding is the least of your worries. If you're going to have children, you need to decide upfront how you will handle religion with them. If she dreams of raising them in her faith, there will come a point where they will challenge her because they do not see you participating, either. If she can deal with that, fine. If not, she should really seek out a Catholic to marry. The same goes for you. Will you think your children have a "screw loose" because they choose to go to church? How will that impact your relationship with them?
Sorry, but love is not enough. You have to be compatible, and a Catholic and an atheist just aren't.
As someone who has been in a relationship where there were differing spiritual beliefs (Christianity vs. Islam), I can promise you that you are heading down a road of pain if you're not on the same page.
Where to have your wedding is the least of your worries. If you're going to have children, you need to decide upfront how you will handle religion with them. If she dreams of raising them in her faith, there will come a point where they will challenge her because they do not see you participating, either. If she can deal with that, fine. If not, she should really seek out a Catholic to marry. The same goes for you. Will you think your children have a "screw loose" because they choose to go to church? How will that impact your relationship with them?
Sorry, but love is not enough. You have to be compatible, and a Catholic and an atheist just aren't.
I have no problems with telling my kids that for instance, granddad went to heaven to be with the angels and he can still see us.
I would have a problem, if they were getting older (12+) and still would believe that stuff.
I don't think religion is all that bad, it's just outdated.
I wouldn't want to see my children or my wife to depend on a god to help them, they have to help themselves.
Like normal, well-educated, enlightened people.
Is it that you dont believe in God or you just dont respect church?
By God I mean at least some supreme guarantee that all this around us is not just some weird coincidence or a silly joke.
You are evidently a strong young man. And you dont need assurance in your good-doing on every Sunday but you should know some people need that. They need churches, icons (blasphemy btw) and institutions.
Can you take catholic wedding in church as you are or you need to convert first? If not. Then just hold your fingers crossed behind back
I don't believe in a personal god or higher powers.
Not in faith, karma, angels, hobbits, unicorns or fortune tellers.
I respect church as a tradition.
In this part of the Netherlands, the south, the towns are built around the church.
I don't respect church as a money making institute that tells people they go to hell if they die.
I am technically still a Catholic but I doubt if our priest will marry us.
In a few years I might graduate as an evolutinairy biologist and I don't think it will be even possible to find any priest that will.
Why can't religion be about living properly instead of going to church, giving them money, worship some god that apperently needs to be worshipped all the time and scaring your kids with stories about hell?
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I feel the same way.
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