I know this has been discussed on these boards a couple time, but I hope you can still spare some insights for me.
Here's the deal: My BF and I been together over 7 yrs and consider ourselves life partners. I insisted that we become "officially" engaged before we move in together, which we are doing next month. The proposal itself was really sloppy and unromantic on his part (that's another story) but I really liked the sapphire engagement ring he got me even tho the setting was only 10K gold :-\ it's a pretty design. However, it was too big. And this is where the story kinda falls apart.
I wore it with another ring for a couple weeks, showing it off to friends and even had a photog friend take a picture for family that dont live here. Even tho it didnt fit well, I got quite attached to it.
Turns out he bought the ring from Wal-Mart and instead of having it properly resized, he just exchanged it for the same style but a different stones. These stones look darker, and from what I've read online, means they are even less valuable, certainly less beautiful. Also the shape is a little different and I see flaws in the detail on the band that werent on "my" ring.
I know it's not an expensive ring, I did not want him break the bank for lots of reasons, and am very pleased with sapphire vs diamond etc... what saddens me is the feeling like he didnt do his research when chosing my ring -- he chose it all alone, with no consultation. But he didnt try for the best colors of sapphire and saw no problem with switching it for a whole new ring... he told me the replacement is "fine."
The band on this new one is actually a little too tight (still fits but leaves a mark and doesnt feel good going on and off), so I have a chance to upgrade or swap agan, if I want to. (I just got this "resized" one yesterday and we got into a huge fight when I was disappointed with the differences, but then we made up). I *could* just keep this slightly too tight version and deal with it, or I could work with him to get something better.
He even admitted that he was thinking about getting me something else (after the first one was too big) something "more expensive" but I had already showed off the ring and felt getting a whole new one was odd, so I said I need the same ring. Now I'm not so sure. Now I think I'd rather have a lil quality than a crap-tastic Wal Mart ring
I know there is no clear answer (or question, heh) but I just had to share this with an anonymous group (could never tell my girlfriends esp about where he got it!!) and I would welcome thoughts from this community about whether I should push for an upgrade or be happy with what I got. I feel sad, and mad at myself for feeling sad and also ungrateful. I can learn to love this ring, but IDK... what would you do?
I read your other post, and you stated that you have ethical issues for walmart (something about hating walmart and everything it stands for).
Being a conscious consumer is a respectable thing. I think you should forget about what K the gold is (10, 14, 18), and how dark the sapphires are. (btw, too light is less valuable and too dark is less valuable. Most natural ones seem darker than the ceylon created ones. Created ones obviously, are less valuable.) But if you seriously have moral issues with walmart, it is okay to ask him to take it back. Even though people have seen it, you can explain that you found out it may have come from a source with which you have ethical issues (how they treat employees, their effect on the economy and livelihood of small businesses, etc)
I have some really nice quality rings from mid-level jewelry stores. They are mostly 10K gold, but I bought them for the way they look or like them for the person they came from. They are not investments and it does not matter that they were inexpensive because I'm going to wear them, not sell them. So don't worry about the cost, just worry about the style and the quality. It doesn't have to be expensive.
My engagement ring is 18K white gold, very heavy, high quality setting, with lots of diamonds and a good sized center diamond of extremely high quality. I love it. I also tried to get my bf to buy a cz instead and put it in a high quality setting. I guarantee I would have loved the ring with the CZ the same as I love my diamond ring, even though one was thousands and the other would not have been. And if it was a platinum designer setting with a honkin' D, IF diamond, and was 10s of thousands of dollars, I would love it, but insist that it be returned!
And don't forget quarter sizes, and the fact that your fingers can get smaller or bigger in cold or hot weather. It will never fit perfectly all of the time, but it will most of the time. I like to be able to easily slip my rings on, but need a few more seconds to work it off.
If it's leaving a mark on your finger, it's too tight. It's cutting off circulation to your finger. It will only get worse as you age and gain weight, and at your time of the month when your body retains water. Just get another one, and go with him when he gets it so you can pick it out.
I stand corrected. It's sapphires and rubies that are the same.
Yes, sapphires and rubies are the same.
And I agree with the person who said take a look at Diamonique. No one can tell that it's not the real deal. They're beautiful and almost as hard as a diamond.
To the OP, If the ring is not to your liking, then it should be returned (if possible)
If possible, go with him and work with him on getting something both can agree to.
You understand his situations so talk to him and show him what you would like.
Not getting something you like can cause resentments in the future.
Diamonds are about a 10 and sapphires a 9 on the hardness scale. Personally I would give a black diamond. A lump of coal or graphite on the other hand; I would take that as a joke. Not many women know about the other colors of diamonds.
Last edited by jerbear; 13th April 2007 at 11:06 PM.
what the heck is wrong with Wal*Mart?...I love it there
Engagement rings...woooo I can't imagine the day when I will get to go out and pick out a ring for my best friend/boo. This will probably be a very emotional day for me lol..
I do feel sorry for you though because you hoped he would go out of his way and take forever to find you the bestest ring he could for you. Well maybe this is the best he could do?...Maybe he liked the looks of it and thought you would like it...I know what you're feeling though.
Please,no more Wal*Mart jokes!....that really hurts my feelings
I'm recently engaged and although our ring was bought in a hurry I do genuinely love it. I have looked in many jewellers windows thinking something bigger or of a more original design would be better but at the end if hte day its the ring we picked together.
i do think its insensitive of the of him to pick a new ring not the new one you both picked as a sign of your love. at the end of the day marriage is the imprortant thing or so I tell myself- but if he realises what it means to you he would offer a chANGE. He would do what it takes to make you happy..but it would obv take input fron you both
I don't think you read the entire post, Enema. The price of the ring isn't really what's bothering her, it's the replacement ring isn't as pretty, doesn't fit as well, and he didn't seem to take care in picking the replacement ring. An engagement ring is something to take care in choosing, as to the woman's taste, expensive or not, and you definitely want it to fit well.
blood diamond...that movie scared the crap out of me... I will think twice before I get a diamond ring. I would creativly think of an alternative.
I can not relate to this...
You're telling me! I know this is a little OT, but as I was sitting there watching with my diamond earings, I felt like a completely lowlife.
unconventional gurl, I can't really give an answer, but if it were me, I'd be gutted and feel like it wasn't give enough thought.
But to each their own - and perhaps he really did give it some thought (in his way) and gave it with love and commitment.
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he got me an inexpensive ring and I dont love it
and instead of having it properly resized, he just exchanged it for the same style but a different stones. These stones look darker, and from what I've read online, means they are even less valuable, certainly less beautiful. 
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