If you have two people that take the time to get to know each other, go into a marriage with the understanding that there are going to be hard times/fights/etc and are determined to work things out, what are the chances of them staying together?

Do you think that most people go into marriage with this mindset?

What is it (aside from cheating/abuse/etc) that pushes people to get a divorce?

[Gunny376]

52% of all first time marriages fail

62% of all second time marriages fail

72% of all third time marriages fail

90% of all divorce petitons are filled by women

Not because of infidelity, substance abuse, gambling, even physical abuse
~ but because of emotional neglect

[StayClose]

Gunny,

What is the source for your data? It looks too simplistic to me.

My belief (no sources - just my belief) is that couples who go into marriage with realistic expectations, good communication skills and adult maturity have a much higher success rate. The problem is that many people mistakenly assume that the early-relationship high they get from their partner will last forever, and than many people never develop communiction & empathy skills.

Emotional neglect could be the major cause of divorce, since emotional neglect can lead to infidelity, substance abuse, etc. It could also be in the form of bad communication practices and ingoring the partners' emotional needs.

[quankanne]

a couple who gets to know each other has a better chance at a successful marriage, in my opinion, because they know where they're coming from – they've already discussed children, family, work, faith, etc. It's when you don't do that careful preparation of getting to know each other that you run into certain difficulties. That is why some churches offer programs like marriage preparation so that couples understand where they're coming from and what they're about to get into.

divorce? serious problems that someone refuses to get a handle on, that make the spouse feel they have to choose between love and sanity, and emotional unavailablity.

[Curmudgeon]

Actually, the percentage of divorces filed by women is closer to the 72% mark than the 90%. To attribute the bulk of them to emotional neglect is inaccurate. There are as many reasons for divorce as there are divorces that occur.

I think, perhaps, you're letting personal experience color your thinking.