i have this problem i was married for 6 years have one son from that marriage then one day he came home and said he wanted a divorce i was crushed that was 8 months ago,the next day after our final hearing he was remarried and now has filed for divorce after only 2 weeks of being with her

i moved on moved on a met a really nice guy that likes my kids and that i enjoy being around,now my ex wants to start seeing me again and doing things with me said he screwed up and that he loves me i have let him stay here a few times but am really confussed the kids think it is great but i am in a mental torture and dont know which way to go could someone give me some advice please

[Tony T]

Your ex is a screwed up, confused, abusive jerk of the greatest magnitude. Who the hell is he that he can tell you to kiss off, marry somebody else, not have it work out and then come back to you and expect you to accept him with open arms? He's got to be out of his everlovin' mind.

Kick his butt out of the house. You are divorced from him and that's FINAL. If you allow him to hurt you again, you are the one who is insane.

He was obviously cheating on you while you were married before if he got married the day after the divorce was final. Is that somebody you really want to be around you again???

You said you have found a really nice, sweet guy. Now why would you want to exchange that for a JERK like your ex husband?

Don't give me the line about you love him or something. That doesn't cut it here. Your ex is a scumbum, and your love will never change that.

...coming from divorced parents myself, i want to point out one thing out that many people fail to overlook in this situation:

do not get back with him for the sake of the childrem

i'm not saying you're thinking this. i just want to point this out for the sake of your children in case it has crossed your mind.

when i was 8 and my parents divorced, i was heartbroken. i desperately wanted them to get back together. but it wasn't until i was in my teenage years that i realised if they ever got back together life would be hell for all of us. my mother even said to me, "i know you love your father and you are very close to him, but we can't live like this". and she was so right.

i thought it was great when my parents were together, but i didn't have one iota of understanding of what the hell went on between them. all i knew is dad didn't treat mum right, but i wanted us to live all in the same house. that is just the typical kid way of thinking, and very naive. but children do adapt quickly despite the initial pain of their parents permanently breaking up. and your children will always have a family.

anyway....this guy is an a**hole to do this to you. he has such a nerve to leave you in the lurch and then come crawling back when things don't work out. to get back with him would be setting a terrible example for your children. i can picture it now - he'll probably be using the whole "we have a family together" line as a crappy excuse to get what he wants. he has broken your heart previously, poured salt in your wounds straight after the divorce and now he thinks he can just waltz back into your life.

you deserve 10 times better than him. stick with the loving caring REAL MAN that you have now. you would be a total glutton for punishment if you were to get back with your ex husband. he will never treat you the way you deserve, but this man you are seeing now probably will. think about that....logically and rationally....and it's not that hard a decision.

your ex might have screwed up, but he should have thought about the consequences of screwing up BEFORE he did. especially when he was married with a child.

think about what will benefit you and the children in the long run. i sincerely doubt that is a cheating man who would more likely do it again once he settles into things and wreaks havoc on your emotions and the childrens....

thank you for the responses it has helped me somewhat,i know its a hard decision to make and my children enjoy when the ex is around because he does things with them,he told me he never cheated while we were married he said he met her in a bar and then they decided to get married,i have a problem and am confussed because the other guy lives so far away and i know getting back with t the ex is the wrong choice and i think you have helped me relize that it would tear me apart to have to go through that again thanks again