BF gets extra loving when it's time for sex

gentleone · 3rd April 2007, 3:18 PM

The title of the thread is not all that acurate..but didn't know how to write it. My BF is loving ALL the time. He is very passionate and is a touchy feely kind of a guy. He doesn't have a big sex drive...more into cuddling etc.. We do it only once maybe twice a month. I don't push for it...I only do it when he initiates it. This works for us, and we have no problems in the bedroom. Actually it's fantastic! My question is...leading up to the day that we end up making love...he becomes out of this world affectionate. He overly touches me...tells me non stop how beautiful I am..he gets very emotional..even sheds a tear over how much he loves me. He will say things like...my God girl..I'm so obsessed with you...you drive me crazy..He even increases the phone calls from work during this time of his emotional whatever you call it. Saying he misses me soooo bad..Gawd I need to see you sooo bad.

Now like I mentioned at the begining of this post..he is always touching and saying nice things to me...but man oh man he pours it on a few days before lovemaking. He doesn't need to butter me up...we have a great connection and I'm a willing partner. We have been together for 9mths now and he hasn't let up with any of the loving part. I'm starting to wonder why he gets so emotional leading up to lovemaking. I mean why can't he feel that way (which he does...just toned down a notch) when it isn't leading up to sex. Is it horniness that brings out all that extra emotion in a guy?

ash519 · 3rd April 2007, 3:28 PM

You answered yourself already. He wants sex, men are more affctionate and nicer when they want something.

Once a month though!? How old are you both?

But in regards to the post, if he always is affectionate, just a bit more so when he wants sex, I dont see the problem.

Sweetie2007 · 3rd April 2007, 8:00 PM

I agree with what Ash said... sounds normal. My BF doesn't get lovey the whole day before he wants sex...but I do notice that if we're going to bed anyway, and he wants it before sleep, he's extra cuddly..that's kinda my signal, to tell him yes or no...although sometimes i play with him, and take advantage of the overly cuddlyness..lol... but either way, it sounds like your BF is fine...its just the hormones that make him extra cuddly/lovey...i'd enjoy it if i were you

bridget_jones · 3rd April 2007, 8:10 PM

I think it is lovely. He associates lovemaking with his feelings for you, not just a physical act.
Are you long distance or something? Twice a month doesn't seem like that much to me.

Aloros · 3rd April 2007, 8:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ash519

Once a month though!? How old are you both?

I was going to ask the same question...

But really, I don't see this as a problem, if he's loving and affectionate towards you at other times.

bridget_jones · 3rd April 2007, 8:32 PM

Yeah, I guess if both are happy with the amount of intimacy then no problem!

gentleone · 4th April 2007, 3:09 AM

We are both in our late 30's. Out of the whole 9mths of dating..December was the only month that we did it once a week sometimes twice. I've never brought up the fact that we do it very little...I'm just going with the flow of things. I'm ok with it..and he is too. I was just wondering about the extra attention...I love it of course..and it does not seem fake on his part what so ever! I just find it to be a pattern. Like I know.. we are going to be making love soon because he is going over the top in the attention.

I'm grateful he desires me, but it's sad too because when I get extra calls from him while he's at work I'm thinking it's only because it's leading up to love making. After we do it...then it will be back down to one call a day..still with loving conversation..but not with the OMG I need you so bad..oh I miss you sooo bad stuff. I guess I'm having a problem with taking the over the top phonecalls and extra attention seriously. Is my thinking normal? If there wasn't a pattern to it...maybe I wouldn't be thinking this.

Storyrider · 4th April 2007, 3:15 AM

It sounds sexy to me. He sounds very unusual, actually. I wonder if he likes to make himself wait until he can't take it anymore?

Hitman10000 · 5th April 2007, 4:25 AM

Stop bragging.

Topper · 5th April 2007, 12:11 PM

You need to initiate more. You need to start making the first move, not all the time but do it before he starts thinking you don't want want or need him. The lack of love making just might be he is waiting for some signals from you. He keeps waiting and waiting untill he starts making his desires known to you. Do it soon or this very loving guy just might start looking around for someone who will make the first move.

DanielMadr · 5th April 2007, 1:53 PM

Be in sexy lingerie when he comes home. I dont understand why you dont initiate. He has to provoke some reaction out of you. Maybe you dont like it very often and he feels it and plays along.

bridget_jones · 5th April 2007, 1:56 PM

That is a good idea. I don't understand why you don't initiate. don't you want it more often?

DanielMadr · 5th April 2007, 2:15 PM

or consider playing 'Vikings and Settlers'. He is the Viking and you are anonymous settler's wife. Just make sure he wont set your house on fire when he will be going back to his ship (car).