Honesty only works if you are honest. Really, brutally honest. I posted this in another thread, got no takers, but how about this:
"Yes, honey, I had an affair and I loved it!"
Because nine time out of ten, that's the goddamn truth and all the tears and remorse and handwringing is hypocritical as hell! And you W can smell it, that's what is pissing her off, even if she thinks something different.
Any comments? Honest ones, preferrably, but any comments will do.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erik
Honesty only works if you are honest. Really, brutally honest. I posted this in another thread, got no takers, but how about this:
"Yes, honey, I had an affair and I loved it!"
Because nine time out of ten, that's the goddamn truth and all the tears and remorse and handwringing is hypocritical as hell! And you W can smell it, that's what is pissing her off, even if she thinks something different.
Any comments? Honest ones, preferrably, but any comments will do.
Did you - personally - have an affair, and it was great? I thought you were the BS, not the WS???
But yes I did have an affair, two in fact. I kinda preferred to keep the score even, emotional insurance. (Hope I guess right as to the meaning of BS and WS)
This article was on the web yesterday and seems to echo your points from the other thread about how Europeans and Americans treat infidelity differently.
Thanks, Storyrider. I think I saw the link before, your post?
I notice people does not really confront my dilemma. So, all of you truth-seekers, do you want your cheating M to be honest with you or do you just enjoy seeing him snivel? Because in that case, your marriage is better off you not knowing.
Well, I think life is easier with honesty, you don't fight as much. If you say "I don't want to see your mother because I don't like her", you've pretty much closed the discussion. If you try to put all kind of make-up on the pig, the W smells a rat and starts digging. It's not that hard, really, not much more than flipping a switch in your head.
And yes, some girls can't live with it. I've know two that could and one that couldn't, but that's better than 50%
yes, i'd want brutal honesty. and yes, if such honesty means that my partner expressed such one-dimensional joy about his affair as you've postulated all affair-indulgers must feel, then you betcha i would end the marriage.
not much rocket science to it, really. hope this helps.
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This is much better than love, babe...
I know I hate partial honesty...like when someone says, I'm sorry I lied to you, and maybe they are, but you know they're really sorry they got caught, and you know they're not a bit sorry for doing what they actually lied about. I'd rather not get the apology if it's not sincere or whole.
If they were just brutally honest, it would save a lot of grief in the long run. But selfishness prevents brutal honesty. Yes, the hearer might hate hearing the truth, but it's the liar who really doesn't want to deal with the consequences of being honest.
Well, I think life is easier with honesty, you don't fight as much. If you say "I don't want to see your mother because I don't like her", you've pretty much closed the discussion.
the key with women ERIK is to know when to be honest and when to lie. You will be golden if you can do this.
I know I hate partial honesty...like when someone says, I'm sorry I lied to you, and maybe they are, but you know they're really sorry they got caught, and you know they're not a bit sorry for doing what they actually lied about.
Spot on! Who really believes the M when he is down at your feet crying bitter tears? If he is so remorseful, why did he cheat in the first place? Nobody jeopardizes their marriage for something that is not immensely fun. (I'm looking at you, Serial Muse!)
If they were just brutally honest, it would save a lot of grief in the long run. But selfishness prevents brutal honesty. Yes, the hearer might hate hearing the truth, but it's the liar who really doesn't want to deal with the consequences of being honest.
Spot on! Who really believes the M when he is down at your feet crying bitter tears? If he is so remorseful, why did he cheat in the first place? Nobody jeopardizes their marriage for something that is not immensely fun. (I'm looking at you, Serial Muse!)
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hope this helps.
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