Hi guys, I'm new here but I'm so amazed at the resources that you have here. This seems like a place that I can share and not be judged. Wow. Maybe some can help me with a problem that's been eating at me. Over the past year, I've discovered the world of escorts or prostitutes. I never thought I would experience that dark world but my relationship of 10 years has become stale and boring. My SO seems to feel that she needs to ration out sex as if its going to break and she's so afraid to experiment with me. Its not like I'm asking for farm animals or for us to wear a suit of armor like some Black Knight. I just want frequent lovemaking in any other place besides our bedroom. Its become so predictable. Anyway, my bestfriend introduced me to his "hobby" of seeing escorts. He told me that it would help my relationship since it would take away a lot of the sexual tension between us. I tried it and he was actually right. My SO and I are getting along much better now that I "hobby" and I think our sexlife is better because I don't expect so much from her. The problem is that I don't feel guilty. I know I should but I just don't because I'm finally happy again. Am I crazy?
definitely crazy...you should be bringing your partner along, that way she can see you in your full well rounded sexuality, and perhaps share in the pleasures
Did you see the thread on Threesomes? you should read it, there is alot of good stuff in there...
Hi guys, I'm new here but I'm so amazed at the resources that you have here. This seems like a place that I can share and not be judged. Wow. Maybe some can help me with a problem that's been eating at me. Over the past year, I've discovered the world of escorts or prostitutes. I never thought I would experience that dark world but my relationship of 10 years has become stale and boring. My SO seems to feel that she needs to ration out sex as if its going to break and she's so afraid to experiment with me. Its not like I'm asking for farm animals or for us to wear a suit of armor like some Black Knight. I just want frequent lovemaking in any other place besides our bedroom. Its become so predictable. Anyway, my bestfriend introduced me to his "hobby" of seeing escorts. He told me that it would help my relationship since it would take away a lot of the sexual tension between us. I tried it and he was actually right. My SO and I are getting along much better now that I "hobby" and I think our sexlife is better because I don't expect so much from her. The problem is that I don't feel guilty. I know I should but I just don't because I'm finally happy again. Am I crazy?
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NYVagabond
No you are not crazy!!! What ever it takes to make your relationship better. If she is not giving you the freaky stuff you want at home go get it elsewhere.
He told me that it would help my relationship since it would take away a lot of the sexual tension between us. I tried it and he was actually right.
I don't believe you.
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My SO and I are getting along much better now that I "hobby" and I think our sexlife is better because I don't expect so much from her. The problem is that I don't feel guilty. I know I should but I just don't because I'm finally happy again. Am I crazy?
No, you're just selfish. From your description above, I assume your SO doesn't know about your wonderful new hobby?
Basic rule of thumb: Don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of your SO.
Does she know you're putting her life at risk for STDs?
Im always very safe and keep everything covered at all times. You call me selfish but isnt it just as selfish to use sex as a weapon and a bargaining chip? Women realize how much power is between their legs and bash men over the head with it! She never wants to do anything unless its something that she wants from me and then she's suddenly in the mood. Can you imagine me withholding food and water from you until I need something from you? Thats crazy but its what women do and then get angry when a man goes to look for it somewhere else! If you were starving and I refused to feed you even though I'm sitting on a feast, wouldn't you look elsewhere?
The STD part is what is wrong with this. Do your homework, just because you use a condom does not prevent the spread of herpes and some dangerous diseases such as hepatitis C. It is down right cruel to another to expose them to incurable diseases without their consent.
And obviously prsotitutes are in the high risk category.
When you get caught, she will more than likely end it with you.
Why not just tell her how unhappy you are in the bedroom - And, both of you should go to couples therapy. I'm sure there are needs of hers that you are not meeting either. It's more than her not wanting alot of sex. It takes two to keep the flame going...Talk to her.
Im always very safe and keep everything covered at all times.
Like Road said above, the worst of the creepies wouldn't care if you're wearing a cast iron condom.
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You call me selfish but isnt it just as selfish to use sex as a weapon and a bargaining chip?
Yes, that is selfish. But consider this: There is a fundamental difference in the risks that women and men take while having sex. I've never met a man yet who was ever pregnant. It's even possible that you're overinterpreting her reticence 2 have sex the way you want it as a weapon, when it may be simple insecurity. Like, you're seeing prosti2tes but having sex with her. Maybe she suspects.
I assume you are keeping this a secret from her, because you didn't answer my question about it. That's lying by omission.
You describe your SO as "significant", by definition of SO, so you must be in some kind of committed relationship with her. If you're having problems communicating your sexual desires to her, then get help with that from a therapist, not a prosti2te.
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Women realize how much power is between their legs and bash men over the head with it!
If you feel this way, it's because you've given your SO this power in your mind. Nobody but you can choose 2 be a victim.
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She never wants to do anything unless its something that she wants from me and then she's suddenly in the mood.
Not an uncommon problem. The solution is not seeing prosti2tes behind her back. The solution is communication. Or maybe simply letting her go so you can bone all the prosti2tes you want (and can afford, and can avoid being arrested).
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Can you imagine me withholding food and water from you until I need something from you?
Sure. Thankfully, I don't depend on you for food and water. Similarly, you shouldn't need sex your way, without consent from your SO for sex that way. Talk 2 her. Find an arrangement that makes both of you happy. Or, let her go.
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Thats crazy but its what women do and then get angry when a man goes to look for it somewhere else! If you were starving and I refused to feed you even though I'm sitting on a feast, wouldn't you look elsewhere?
When a man wants to have intimacy with someone, what does he do? For me, I would compliment her, buy her flowers, sweettalk her, massage, eye contact, do everything romantic to get her in the sack. This could apply to your marriage. Try communicating and being romantic. Women love that; have you slacken off with your own intimacy? It could correlate to why your wife's sex desire has become slack. When was the last time you told her she was beautiful? Love poetry...If you havent tried all this, you have given up on your wife.
Hi guys, I'm new here but I'm so amazed at the resources that you have here. This seems like a place that I can share and not be judged. Wow. Maybe some can help me with a problem that's been eating at me. Over the past year, I've discovered the world of escorts or prostitutes. I never thought I would experience that dark world but my relationship of 10 years has become stale and boring. My SO seems to feel that she needs to ration out sex as if its going to break and she's so afraid to experiment with me. Its not like I'm asking for farm animals or for us to wear a suit of armor like some Black Knight. I just want frequent lovemaking in any other place besides our bedroom. Its become so predictable. Anyway, my bestfriend introduced me to his "hobby" of seeing escorts. He told me that it would help my relationship since it would take away a lot of the sexual tension between us. I tried it and he was actually right. My SO and I are getting along much better now that I "hobby" and I think our sexlife is better because I don't expect so much from her. The problem is that I don't feel guilty. I know I should but I just don't because I'm finally happy again. Am I crazy?
I just don't believe that OP's So would not go along with having sex in another place other then the bedoom.
NY, you never mentioned if sex is actually good with your wife, is she freaky, is she reserved?
Have you even tried to liven up the relationship between the two of you. You mentioned that she rations out sex with you. Maybe you have been a bad boy and that is all you get. I would work with that angle, intice her and make it fun. You can do it. Don't use this excuse just to f**k another especially a prostitue, just concerned about std's aren't you?
No matter how carefull you may be there is still a huge risk.
And think about the money that you spend, why not spend it on a vacation for the two of you?
__________________
Sarah Graham: You know, sometimes love isn't fireworks. Sometimes, love just comes softly.
Im always very safe and keep everything covered at all times. You call me selfish but isnt it just as selfish to use sex as a weapon and a bargaining chip? Women realize how much power is between their legs and bash men over the head with it! She never wants to do anything unless its something that she wants from me and then she's suddenly in the mood. Can you imagine me withholding food and water from you until I need something from you? Thats crazy but its what women do and then get angry when a man goes to look for it somewhere else! If you were starving and I refused to feed you even though I'm sitting on a feast, wouldn't you look elsewhere?
I know a man who could have sex with his wife when ever, where ever, how ever and as often as he could handle. His wife is pretty, trim and take great pains in how she looks. HE CHEATED ON HER......what my friend would his excuse be.
Fact is what you say doesn't cut it. Your selfish, that is the crux of it.
The problem in your relationship is NOT your wife, it is obviously YOU!
Read what you wrote above, your problem is you have NO RESPECT for women, all women. The problem is yours, not your wifes. You need to take a look within yourself and STOP BLAMING YOUR WIFE FOR YOUR SELFISHNESS.
On the other hand how much RESPECT can a man have for HIMSELF when he HAS to PAY a woman to have sex with him..........I say NONE!!!
Last edited by harleygirl92156; 22nd March 2007 at 11:31 PM.
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