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Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 17th March 2007, 12:25 PM   #1
fudge_cake_89
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Exclamation its driving me insane!!

Recently, one of the guys ive become really close mates with, told me that he has really fallen for me. flattered, yes, but when he told me i felt really guilty cos i didnt feel the same way, and he knew it.

it all worked out well tho, cos him telling me has made us closer mates in the longrun!

BUT now we spend more time together, cos he's great company, aaand my feelings for him have gotten stronger, which i keep denying to myself, cos i just wana keep it as an amazing friendship.

Now heres the twist..my female mate is becoming really jealous..cos she says im spending too much time with my male mate. the thing is, she has liked him for nearly 4 years (i only found this out last week?!).

so what can i do?!

i have her on one side getting angry at me whenever i spend time with my male mate , even tho i spend some weekends with her, and my frees at skl with her, chatting away, shopping and having a laugh and she has frees with him, and has the opportunity to spend time with him when she wants. (if thats why shes getting jealous)

and i have him on the otherside, who i love spending time with, cos he makes me feel loved, and we can joke around all day. But i only see him at breaks and lunch during the week, cos we have no free's or lessons together, so i tend to spend my lunch's with him. which makes her jealous. and in fairness as our mate, she can come and grab some lunch with us all (with other mates) during our lunch break, but she decides not too.

i cant seem to win!!

its driving me insane!!
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Old 17th March 2007, 2:35 PM   #2
Trialbyfire
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You have an unusual situation.

- Don't you think you're leading him on or does he have a chance?
- Why would you be willing to share your girl?

You may want to take a hard look at your own sexuality and consider the possibilities of what your preference is.
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Old 17th March 2007, 4:41 PM   #3
LoveLace
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love triangle?

If you have feelings for this man, he and your friend both should know. But he also should be aware that the other person has feelings for him too. This involves all 3 of you, and if you want to remain friends with each other, you will all need to sit down and discuss the situation. You need to decide what your true feelings are for this man. If you decide you like him more as just friends, you might should tone down on all the time you spend with him, since your other friend is being hurt by it. If you decide you want more with him, you are risking your other friendship, because she may not ever get over it.
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Old 18th March 2007, 5:19 PM   #4
fudge_cake_89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trialbyfire View Post
You may want to take a hard look at your own sexuality and consider the possibilities of what your preference is.
i dont really get what my sexuality has to do with it, cos its quite obvious to me that im straight...lol.
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Old 15th April 2007, 9:51 AM   #5
Magnatolia
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Are you sure you're straight? Lol jk

I think it's pretty obvious why you're friends jealous. She won't care if you wittle the time with him to one lunch a week. The problem seems to me that she is jealous because she probably knows he likes you. So she gets frustrated with you because she wants him to feel that way about her.

Why are you denying your feelings?? You can have an amazing relationship with the guy as well. Just means you're more romantic.

I think the biggest problem with relations and marriage is they quite often lose the dynamic aspect. Friendships are quite often dynamic and fresh, whereas when people get into a relationship it can often become bland and monotonous.
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