[star gazer1]

Hi

Please could some of you see free to give me some advice feel really desperate at the momenet and at a loss of what to do.

4 years ago i a had an affair this resulted in me having a child to this man we were both really scared at the thought of all the **** we would get and thought the only way wed be able to live together is if we moved away so we ended up botteling it.
I went back to my husband and he moved on and found a new girlfriend but we couldnt stay away from each other and continued our realationship until his girlfriend became pregnant and we stopped for about a year. then before xmas he got back in touch to say he missed me and we have begun seeing each other again. For the year i didnt see him i thought of him every day he has never been out of my mind.

The problem is i dont want to live this lie anymore it has gone on for 4 years i love him dearly but i darent tell him this and ask him where we are going for fear of rejection but i feel i want to tell him im just so scared neither of us is ever straight i think we are both scared and that is why 4 years later we are in the same position, Pleases do not think this is just about sex we have a genuine freindship too i feel he is my soul mate i have never felt a connection like it when we are together.
I know some of you will think bad of me for having an affair but it was not a quick fling i fell in love and my husband although this is not an excuse has had one night stands.

So please if anyone can help me i want to get off this merry go round of lies but i do not want to rush him or scare him away
What to do ?

[Not_That_Innocent]

You should think long and hard about whether or not you want to be with him or if you just love the excitement of having a realtionship outside your marriage. After all, you're both cheaters and you have to consider whether you could ever have anything real. I'm not trying to be rude, just trying to help you consider all circumstances. If your friendship with him is as genuine as you say you should tell him how you feel, at least so that you can understand what his feelings are as far as a long term relationship. Good luck!

[Sup]

If the child is NOT your husbands, then he needs to know, is he paying you child support for this child? If he is, then you need to come clean, and have him STOP paying for your mistake.

[star gazer1]

yes my husband does know I am not contray to what you may belive a bitch i have fallen in love with someone and the whole situation has crucified me it is not something i have taken lightly