Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
My brother is sleeping with my best friends girl. NOW WHAT!?!?
Hello all,
I hope someone can shed some light on this. I found out this evening that my older brother is sleeping with my best mates girl. My brother and I are close and my best mate is my best mate...nuff said. It puts me in an awkward situation. What am I supposed to do now? Pretend it never happened? Tell my best friend and ruin his relationship? No matter what course of action I take, I still feel guilty. If I do nothing, my friend will hate me when he inevitably finds out. If I do something then my brother will hate me.
I told my brother to back off when I saw the first signs of danger. He obviously didn't listen and now he's willingly put me in this predicament. I'd like to knock his teeth out for my trouble but that would only make things worse for all of us. So what do i do? My best mate works his ass off to pay his girlfriends mortgage and buy her implants just so she can give the goods to my brother!?!? What the f&!k??
I know they say that blood is thicker than water and I don't want to break the code of brotherhood but he has seriously gone too far. SOMEONE HELP!!!!
Wow. I guess you're sure about your brother and the girl? Is there any way you can anonymously tip off your friend so neither he nor your brother know who told?
I honestly don't know what to advise, so I'm bumping your thread in the hope that someone else might have some advice.
Blood is thicker than water, yes, but best mates are VERY hard to come by and your brother is way out of line. Your brother will forgive you eventually, but you may not get your mate back.
Think you could talk to the girl, perhaps? Maybe threaten her with exposure, if she doesn't behave? The therapists in here won't like it, but stern measures are called for. Take a pic of her and your brother, show it to her, tell her to clean up her act or take a hike or else you will blow the whistle on her.
By your post, it seems clear that these are "boyfriends/girlfriends", no one is living with anyone else.. no formal "relationships" like an engagement.
If the above is true. STAY OUT OF IT. You are to close to all the parties involved.
...anonymously tip off your friend so neither he nor your brother know who told...
I think that was some good advice!
Find a way for your mate to find out without you being the bearer of bad news! Whether you think so or not, to sit around and continue to watch this happen is going to do damage to you in some way or another.
I hope someone can shed some light on this. I found out this evening that my older brother is sleeping with my best mates girl. My brother and I are close and my best mate is my best mate...nuff said. It puts me in an awkward situation. What am I supposed to do now? Pretend it never happened? Tell my best friend and ruin his relationship? No matter what course of action I take, I still feel guilty. If I do nothing, my friend will hate me when he inevitably finds out. If I do something then my brother will hate me.
I told my brother to back off when I saw the first signs of danger. He obviously didn't listen and now he's willingly put me in this predicament. I'd like to knock his teeth out for my trouble but that would only make things worse for all of us. So what do i do? My best mate works his ass off to pay his girlfriends mortgage and buy her implants just so she can give the goods to my brother!?!? What the f&!k??
I know they say that blood is thicker than water and I don't want to break the code of brotherhood but he has seriously gone too far. SOMEONE HELP!!!!
You warned your brother to back off, he didn't. So that's out of your hands reguarding him. I suggest you tell your Mate, and make sure that he knows what's going on, and how you told your brother to back off, but, he didn't listen, that's on your brother. Save your Mate some serious money NOW, and possibly your friendship, you may lose him as a friend, but, not saying anything messes him over worse. I have a feeling that your brother is counting on you NOT to say anything, IMO, he's taking advantage of the situation, by using you. Do the right thing and tell your Mate. How did you find out?
If it's bothering you a lot, tell your brother and your best friend's girl that you will expose them if they don't stop. If they don't, you've given fair warning and have every right to expose them to your mate.
Keep in mind that you are interfering in drama that will probably implode on it's own. Sooner or later all parties will be hurt by this whether you do something about this or not.
Let's pretend that you do fix this. Will you have guilt about not telling your best friend? Will your brother and the girl hate you afterwards?
Consider all aspects of this in reference to what you as an individual are willing to live with, before stepping into the fire.
Or look at it this way: you brother is hurting you bad. You are perfectly entitled to demand he cease and desist, you are blood and he is pissing on you.
Do the right thing and tell your Mate. How did you find out?
When I had my suspicions I did a little recon. My brother said he was going out to dinner one night (which he never does) and was dressed nicely (even stranger!). I rang my best mate straight away and asked what he and his girl were doing that night. He replied that his girl was out to dinner with friends. Coincidence? I think not.
Thinking the worst, I had to satisfy my curiosity so I tried checking his email. I didn't know his password or secret question so I was about to give up when I noticed he hadn't closed MSN messenger. Bingo! I went into his emails and read all the ones from my mates girl. That was all the evidence I needed. I found a confirmation email for a hotel room that was not even 5 minutes from my house and the booking was for that very night! So I had to see with my own eyes. Sure enough both of their cars were in the parking lot. That was all I needed to see. I left and came straight home to post my dilemma on this forum.
I've made up my mind. I'm going to tell my mate if he doesn't. I'll give him two days grace. If he hasn't confessed by then I'll step in and deliver justice!! It was a tough decision but everyones advice has helped and I'd like to thank you all for your contributions. Wish me luck!!
Is your friend aggressive? Someone who would hurt your brother upon discovering that he sleeps with his GF? Or someone too co-dependent and obsessive? It's hard to give you advice when we don't know the people in the story and how they would react. This situation can potentially be very hurtful and even acquire serious dimensions. But it could also be resolved calmly and without ruining your friendship.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Do the right thing and tell your Mate. How did you find out?
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