I don't know how much longer I can take it. I have being seeing this girl for a few months now and we have yet to be intimate. We kiss, on occasion, but it is never a full on makeout session and that's about it.

The problem is that she was raped by her previous boyfriend and so when things start to become intimate she gets really scared.

I just don't know what to do. I love her very much but I know that I am only human and I have limitations like everyone. I don't know what those limits are but I'm afraid that I'll reach them.

I feel horrible because I should be supportive and this shouldn't be an issue, but it is weighing on my heart more and more. I can't talk to her about it, that wouldn't be fair to her and i just don't know who to turn to.

I feel as if I should be able to help her, to make things all better. Isn't that what boyfriends are supposed to do? I feel so selfish and callus to her feelings.

I know she cares about me a great deal as I her, but I want the whole package. I want the intimacy. I want to be able to hold her in my arms without her pushing me away because it's making her fell uncomfortable.

[whichwayisup]

I have being seeing this girl for a few months now and we have yet to be intimate

Seeing as she was raped I highly doubt she's ready for sex, let alone closeness and intimacy.

Is she seeking therapy to help her cope with what happened to her?

Hate to say it, but this all has to happen at her pace. If you feel you need more from her, then you're going to have to make a decesion - Stay and accept that things are going to move real slowly, or end it now.

Do nice things for her, gain her trust. Bring her flowers, tell her how much you care for her, appreciate her in your life and what she means to you. Maybe that will help her feel more secure.

Hope this helps.

Originally Posted by whichwayisup

Seeing as she was raped I highly doubt she's ready for sex, let alone closeness and intimacy.

Is she seeking therapy to help her cope with what happened to her?

Hate to say it, but this all has to happen at her pace. If you feel you need more from her, then you're going to have to make a decesion - Stay and accept that things are going to move real slowly, or end it now.

Do nice things for her, gain her trust. Bring her flowers, tell her how much you care for her, appreciate her in your life and what she means to you. Maybe that will help her feel more secure.

Hope this helps.

Yeah I know it has to happen at her pace. And I try to treat her well and do things for her, Id' do those sorts of things regardless.

It's just that I don't know how to talk to her about it without coming across as a total cad.

I'm not ready to end it, she's great in so many other ways. I guess I just need to vent. The best word to describe how I feel right now is frustrated, in so many different ways.