Hi, I've worked with a guy for about four years now, and we've been good friends for as long as we've known each other. However, we never did anything outside of work. Then, about 8 months ago, I got a new job, and he and I no longer saw each other. This past week, we happened to run into each other at the house of a mutual friend, and we've been talking and hanging out nonstop since. My problem is that I think I'm beginning to have deeper feelings for him and I'm told he feels the same way, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to move into a serious relationship right now...I've had a lot of bad luck with guys in the past, and I don't want to hurt him or me. Should I lay low and risk losing him to someone else, or should I jump into something that I'm not sure about and risk being hurt,hurting him, or even losing him as a friend?

[Tony T]

This is a question YOU and ONLY YOU should answer. What do you want to do?

You're not really risking anything because it's only been a short time since you got reaquainted. I don't think it's ever a good idea to not do something because it may not turn out right. No matter what we do, it can turn out good or bad...evening eating a meal.

My vote would be to go for it and see if it's something you've been dreaming about. You already know him from the past so you've got a head start there.

But whether or not you make a move to upgrade the friendship is your decision and your risk.

It would be interesting to find out whether he is having deeper feelings for you as well. In our culture, women tend to play more subtle seduction games than "asking him out". Good luck!