I have been going out with a man who's 10 years older than me-no big deal because I have always liked men who were older than me. Anyway, he really likes me and has spoiled me with gifts. I never asked him to buy me anything but he does anyway. The problem is that I am not sexually physically attracted to him. When I am with him I don't have any type of intimate urge at all! Is this normal. Isn't it better to be with a man that you have attraction to? I like the fact that he is well off but I would rather be with someone who is less well off and someone who I am attracted to. Please give me some advice. I am 37 years old. The thought of being naked with him almost makes me sick to my stomach-he just doesn't turn me on! I will probably tell him that I only think of him as a friend. Help
Hmm... what is it you're wanting to hear. Should we tell you to enjoy the gifts and marry him despite the fact that his naked body makes you ill?????????????????????????????
Are you bored?
__________________ That is not dead which can eternal lie, yet with strange aeons, even death may die - H. P. Lovecraft.
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Hi Jill! I think I am in the same boat you are in. I have a nice friend that I hang with and he just told me he bought me a present. I am annoyed. I told him he shouldn't have done that and I was uncomfortable with presents from him.
I have no urge to kiss him, much less sleep with him. Yet I really enjoy him as a friend and he is great company.
Are you hung-up on someone else? (I am-and that could be my problem-I can't see past my former love)
What are you going to do? Have you two talked about a relationship? Have you two kissed? Please keep us updated. I'd like to hear how this unfolds.
To the OP, what have you been thinking??? Physical attractiveness, for reasons like the ones you stated, should be one of the first priorities before engaging in a sexual/romantic relationship. I don't get some girls/women who say they don't think that looks matter in the opposite sex, maybe because they can see past the ordinary or disgusting surface and see how the other attributes "make up" for it or they just were shamed into thinking it's too "shallow".
I think you should refuse a romantic/sexual relationship with him and just opt for friendship because it's not only unfair to you but to him as well. If he really knew how disgusted you get of him when you go to the romance/sex mode then would the relationship continue? There should be a two-way street here, not one way.
--"I don't get some girls/women who say they don't think that looks matter in the opposite sex, maybe because they can see past the ordinary or disgusting surface and see how the other attributes "make up" for it or they just were shamed into thinking it's too "shallow"-- Thats a bit harsh no? Whats wrong with "ordinary" looking people?? Not every one is a super model I mean realy not maney people can live up too the riduckulas standards we have now adays for judgeing what looks good!! Now with that said I agree if you arnt attracted to this man and cannot get past that then do the right thing and tell him BEFORE he gets you any more gifts..eather wanted or unwanted.. Theres nothing wrong with not wanting to be a shallow self centered person theres already to maney of them in todays world. But you also cant force a relashionship if your honestly that revolted by him but there are nice ways to go about things..You could tell him that you just dont feel a romantic connection there and let him move on and find some one who will genually enjoy his companey theres some one out there for every one..
[quote=Blue Phoenix;1100838]--Thats a bit harsh no? Whats wrong with "ordinary" looking people?? Not every one is a super model I mean realy not maney people can live up too the riduckulas standards we have now adays for judgeing what looks goodQUOTE]
It's not harsh, and you exaggerated a bit too much of what I was saying. I'm not suggesting they have to look like a supermodel (and even there are quite a lot of those who aren't that great looking as factors such as having to be tall and thin gets in the way of more attractive attributes). It's "good-looking" or "decent-looking" that I was talking about; not plain jane or average joe that are missed in terms of physical attraction. If you're into average joes, fine.
--"ordinary or disgusting surface"-- Umm thats exactly what you said how did I exaggerate it?? maybe I was mistaken but that made it seam that you felt that ordinary people were not worth dateing?? I just pointed out what you had already said no??
That was what I said. I meant you exaggerated by bringing up "supermodels" and the highest standards of beauty to counteract my argument. Oh, and I wasn't talking about ordinary people being disgusting. I *said* "ordinary *or* disgusting" as two different categories.
Haa ok sorry then but I do stand by the idea that what looks good is all too often blowen way out of wack any more.. Thats why half the young girls have eating disorders by the time there 12 just about killing them selves to fit into the riduckulas standards we seam to have set in our minds.. But thats another thread all togher I guess..
I think the approaches made by many of us to the standards of beauty are out of whack. If you want to "take care of yourself" to make yourself more confident or look better, there are lifestyle changes that are not depriving and fulfilling but it may be due to impatience or lack of awareness. As for the "super skinny", that is not beauty at all in the first place as it's both unhealthy and not feminine, lol. There's an Italian ban on super skinny models on the runway, if you've heard of it.
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