What does everyone think about getting drinks alone?
Does a female look desperate if they go somewhere, restaurant, bar, or similar places, alone? Going to the grocery store to meet people doesn't seem to work very well!!!!
Does a female look desperate if they go somewhere, restaurant, bar, or similar places, alone?
I never think so...I just think she wants to meet people. One problem many women make is going out with the girls and then they yak all nite long with each other and rarely meet men.
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Originally Posted by rvj
Going to the grocery store to meet people doesn't seem to work very well!!!!
um yea thats cause people are busy shopping for food and stuff.
You have a point about girls night out and what usually happens. I feel weird about it and don't want to look desperate. But I want to meet "normal" people.
You have a point about girls night out and what usually happens. I feel weird about it and don't want to look desperate. But I want to meet "normal" people.
would you be more apt to approach an attractive stranger by himself or if he was with 4 buddies?
well i dont think its weird but there are other places u can go by urself to possibly meet people. do u work out? a gym is a great place to alone. that is where i met my bf. also a bookstore cafe/coffee place. (i met an ex there) u can break the ice by perposely spilling some coffee on ur table and making it look like an accident. than ask cute coffee dude if he has a napkin. guys like to "fix" things and feel like they are needed to girls.
above all, u need to just let it happen. in my experience going out to just find some guy usually doesnt work. unless u go to like a club. actually u could go somewhere like that and just go out on the dance floor. when some guy starts dancing with u and then talking, tell him ur friends deserted u and now u cant find them. that one works like a charm! (yes i'm sneaky, guys buy into that crap though!)but i dont know how worthwhile u'll find some dude who goes clubbing (most are just players lookin to get laid). i
anyway i am a believer now that u meet someone when u least expect it. its harder to go "searching" because if u dont meet someone that night it makes u feel crappy, lonely, and depressed. hope i helped ya!
You did help- it just sucks. I've been trying to just let it happen for about three years and its not working. I've dated a few people in that time period. Can count them on one hand. I know that I'm decent looking, have a great job, not clingy in relationships, and very independent. But I don't approach men. I'm pretty shy at first - I don't like rejection. It sucks also! When they find out I not only have a 7 year old daughter but two teenage nephews that live with me - I think it puts them off. I hate dating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm only 27 and you think it would get easier the older you get but whatever- sure doesn't. I don't have anything to lose except to look like a idiot- but its worth a shot.
Does a female look desperate if they go somewhere, restaurant, bar, or similar places, alone? Going to the grocery store to meet people doesn't seem to work very well!!!!
I go to sports bars and sporting events on my own. I enjoy them and don't want to wait around until I have someone to go out. But I think I have an advantage with that, because I have something to watch and if no one talks to me (and I always do have guys starting up a conversation) it doesn't matter, because my reason for going was the game not to pick up anyone.
You have to be comfortable on your own, it is scary and if you look like a "deer in the head lights" you will not do as well as if you go in without any expectations and just have fun.
Just be sure to befriend one of the bartenders for your safety. That way, if a "weirdo" comes up and you can't shake them, they will usually be your safety net.
I have also found that you can meet people at the book store and in those coffee bars. Get involved in volunteer work, that will help you meet like minded people as well.
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Guin's suggestions are great. Along those lines, I used to go to a bar down the street alone to watch baseball games. Like she said, you are already doing something plus you have something to talk about with the other guys who are watching. I actually met some really great men, but ironically I was already in a relationship, with a guy who did not like baseball.
I used to run a small but great neighborhood bookstore near a college. I knew a lot of single people, all ages, who would hang out and browse through books, and saw relationships blossom Bookstores are great because they are low key, there is always something to talk about or ways to start up a conversation, and if you want to avoid someone who's advances you don't want you can just hide behind a book.
What about that organized thing people are doing now where groups of singles meet, sit at a table for 10 minutes & talk, then have to switch to a new table? Anyone ever heard of that or done that?
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Does a female look desperate if they go somewhere, restaurant, bar, or similar places, alone?
Absolutely not. In fact, I perceive it as a sign of independence. I wish more women would do this. If you go out with your friends all the time, you end up talking to them and never meeting anyone new.
I am less apt to approach a woman in a group for many reasons. It's hard to break the ice with someone when you have the magnifying glass of her friends looking at you. Also, women are very petty in this area and often one of your friends would be derogatory even if she liked the guy that approached you, because of jealousy.
I've been out to have drinks alone so many times I can't even begin to count. But it was also usually a place where I knew a bartender or something like that, so that I'd at least have someone to make small talk with. But most people think it's cool that I'm that independent..I have even gone to night clubs alone..but either run into someone I know or make friends at the bar quickly...that was when I was younger and stayed out later!
I have several friends and I'm a very outgoing person, but I have more fun going out alone sometimes. A lot of guys will talk to you, too!
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For me, the whole idea behind "going out" (in regards to a bar, lounge, or even a nice restaurant) is to *socialize* with someone I've already pre-arranged to meet with.
I really don't see anything particularly "wrong" or "dangerous" with doing it alone -but for me, there just wouldn't be as strong an attraction to doing it.
The apparent drawbacks -appearing as "looking to hook up" with a stranger- is about the only major *detraction* as far as I'm concerned.
I'd much rather call a friend to join me -and it doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic one.
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Bookstores are great because they are low key, there is always something to talk about or ways to start up a conversation, and if you want to avoid someone who's advances you don't want you can just hide behind a book.
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