[Isabella82]

The problem is that my mom completely hates my boyfriend and I feel like no matter what he does it is never good enough for her. She I guess always feels like I could do better.

Part of it could be my fault because whenever we have a fight, I go to my mom for advice and she I guess can't get past the arguments that my b/f and I have had, so I have learned to no longer go to my mom with problems.

It upsets me because I really love him a lot, and he does a lot for me, and even my mom. One day she had to be rushed to the emergency room and my boyfriend took her, and waited in the waiting room for about 4 hours, another time he was at my moms house when I was at work waiting for me to get off of work, and he took her to do all her errands that day including a doctors appt which he had to wait outside for 2 hours, because she needed to bring our dog with them.

The last thing really just ticks me off to no end. I can not believe she can be so mean. My b/f just surprised me with a beautiful sterling silver heart necklace and he engraved our intials in it. I loved it, and I felt like he put a lot of thought into it. He gave it to me already, because he was so excited that he couldn't wait to give it to me, plus we aren't going to be together on V-day anyway.

My mom started going into how she didn't like it, that it looked cheap. She didn't like the engraving on it, she said she could have engraved it herself. He got it engraved at Things Remembered so I think it is beautiful. She started saying how I am only 24 and obviously I don't know what is nice. And then she said well tell him next time he wants to get something engraved that he should wait so that I can pick out the font etc....

I just feel like I came home and I was so excited to show my mom my gift and she just has to rain on my parade. And my step-dad has never bought my mom jewerly ever except for their weddings rings, so I don't know why she is being so wierd about it. She said that the necklace looked like it was $35, I looked online to prove her wrong and it said $80 Not like the price matters anyway, its the thought that counts.

What should I do? Do you think this is totally shallow of her? Please help me figure out a way to get my mom to like my b/f. She always says stop wasting your time, and find yourself a real man. My b/f is in law school, what more does she want????

[bluechocolate]

Please help me figure out a way to get my mom to like my b/f.

Your mother doesn't have to like your b/f. Yes, of course it would be nice if she did, but lots of things would be 'nice' that often just don't happen.

You're 24 years old - you could always move out of the house. Barring that, keep your b/f & your mother away from each other & don't mention him to her at all.

[Isabella82]

Thanks for the reply. I know you are right, that my mom doesn't have to like my bf but yes it would be nice. She doesn't like my brothers wife either so I am not the only one.

It would be nice to move out, I just recently moved in because I just got done with college and she is driving me nuts about the whole thing! I am just thinking long term down the road during holidays, or if I move out of state which I will w/ my bf one day, and we go home to visit etc...

Don't you think that the whole jewerly thing is just crazy!

[bluechocolate]

Don't you think that the whole jewerly thing is just crazy!

Yes, it is crazy. Also petty & immature. It could also be that she is jealous.

She doesn't like my brothers wife either so I am not the only one.

So there's a pattern. Are you close to your brother? Maybe you could compare notes & have a good laugh together at your mothers silliness.

You learned that you shouldn't go to her with problems in your relationship, you're probably now going to have to learn how to manage your expectations as regards her & your b/f. It's sad because it is a diminishing of your relationship with your mother, but she has brought that upon herself.

[TheDC]

Your mom sounds like a b*tch. I think that she'll probably be unhappy with any boy you bring home.

The next time she mentions your necklace just tell her that you like it better than the one her husband bought her and when she says that he hasn't bought her a necklace just look at her and say "I know."

[Isabella82]

Thanks for the replies, yeah I don't think my mom would be happy with anyone that I bring home, so I should just stop trying.... I just know in the future when him and I get married, she will be hitting me up for money all the time... it just makes me so mad.

Yeah my brother and me are pretty close so I am sure we will talk about it together, and just accept it. Although some of the reasons why she doesn't like his wife are kind of valid all that should matter is his happiness and if he is happy with her then she should be glad.

My fathers parents don't like her, and her parents don't like him.... so I guess that is just the way it goes.

Thanks for the replies