[confused&alone]

Hi everyone, im new here so i thought i should post my story up.......

Well last saturday my boyfriend of 5 years split up with me, we had been living together properly for about 3 months and up until we moved in together things seemed fine.

He said to me that he doesnt want to be with me anymore and that he thinks i dont trust him ( i stupidly looked through his text messages most nights and he knew this ) and that it was only a one way relationship-he gave and i never gave anything back

Last saturday after he broke up with me he dropped me at my parents house and that was it. He told me that he still wants to be my friend and that i shouldnt delete him from my mobile or msn contacts so i havent done and for the first few days i kept speaking to him on the phone and on msn asking him what went wrong and can we give it another go.

I then decided this saturday just gone that i would have no contact with him so i didnt, he would say hi to me on msn and i would say hi back then not bother talking to him. On Sunday night i blocked him from my msn.

Its now Wednesday and last night i broke the NC and he came and picked me up and took me to his house, he said that he missed me and that he wanted a hug so i gave him a hug, he then kissed me and i kissed him back and we ended up having sex

He said that he hopes i dont regret having sex with him and that we should see each other a couple of times a week to see how things go between us.

Im soooooo confused grrrrrrrrrr

[confused&alone]

Sorry for the really long post

[shockandawed]

Hi Confused and Alone,

Welcome, you will find plenty of people here dealing with similar situations. You will also find plenty of resources and support.

On the surface, it appears your ex is interested in some booty calls a couple of times a week. But, 5 years is a long time to throw out a relationship.

Why did you go through his text? Are there valid reasons to not trust him?

If this is the only issue, then I think you should explore reconcilling and keeping dialogue open. Just make sure you are in control, your desires and feelings are being addressed. And no sex!!!!!You can meet and talk, but by your rules. Meet in restaurants or other public places.

If he is just wanting sex, he needs No Contact.

Good Luck and keep posting.

Shock

[dropdeadlegs]

Break ups are tough and you have my sympathy. There are a lot of break up stories shared here.

Since your break up is recent and he has expressed a desire to "see how things go" I would agree that time spent together should be more discussions about how to resolve your relationship issues than about having sex. Does he miss you, or does he miss having a sexual partner? Not having sex will answer that question.

Five years is a long time together, yet three months into a living together situation didn't work out. Maybe he is not ready for that step. You didn't mention ages, but appear fairly young and many of those years could have been while teenagers.

Trust is a very important part of a healthy relationship. I do not think that going through a partners call list, text messages, emails, etc. is the right way to go about getting past a trust issue. If there has been a reason to cause your lack of trust that should be given serious consideration as to your ability to forgive him and trust him again. A loss of trust is often very hard to overcome and takes a confidence in the relationship for success in that area.

Take things slow and examine the issues and work on them prudently and you two may be able to get back on the right path. Good luck!

[KMT]

Theres a thing they call NC around her it stands for no contact and after a break up I say maintain absalotely not one ounce of contact for over 6 weeks and you will feel so much better! good luck

[confused&alone]

I am 22 and he is 21 (22 in feb).

I had no reason not to trust him but curiosity got the better of me and i just had to look. I know that he wouldnt have cheated on me, its just that he is a really friendly and flirty guy and it worried me.

I just feel like i have been used now that i had sex with him again, i was doing so well with the NC too

[KMT]

O well live and learn ur on a roll keep up the pace, u'll be fine, in fact u'll be better then b4