In the past month me and my Fiancee barely spent anytime together. other than a few 5 minute phone calls initiated on my part,And taking her to go pick up her car from the shop thats the only contact we have had. So last week I decided why should I be the one trying to initiate spending time together all the time so I stopped calling. I feel as if I'm a good person,a good man to her, I treat her nice and show her the upmost respect. I put her feelings and needs before mine and I've made sacrifices for this women that I've never made for any other women in my life. So why should I have to beg this women, or any women to spend time with me. So she decides to call me up and says she wants to spend the weekend with me since we haven't really spent anytime together, But 30 minutes before we were supose to hook up she calls and says she wants to cancel, I ask her why? She says she wants to go hang with her friends instead and she'll be over the next day. So I say don't worry about it cause I don't want nobody around me who doesn't really want to be around me and this leads to big argument So I just ended it. Why be with a person who claims to Love you but doesn't show you or make you feel that Love. Or claims to want to be with you, but all there actions show otherwise. Sorry about the post being so long I just really needed to vent because this situation or should I say relationship has been so frustrating to me.
As this was your fiancee, you should probably take a break from dating. Look around and scout out your next selections. Make sure to look for characteristics to stay a way from!
Well now I feel bad about suggesting that "it isn't too late to change your mind."
I gotta tell you that there is something bad in the LS air tonight. There has been no conflict resolution! Is there a full moon, or maybe new moon?
Based on another thread I am privy to information that was not posted here on this thread. Do you know what I am talking about and did that come into play here? If it did I would not blame you. That talk about being drained and tired reeked of disinterest. How long could that be maintained on a healthy level?
This post a general disinterest in your feelings and needs.
It will still hurt (the breakup) but I think you will be better off. I don't think you would have been truly happy married to her. Sometimes a proposal feels like the appropriate step, but marriage is a serious move and should be taken more seriously than it is.
Coming from someone who is twice divorced that sounds like crap. My mistakes have actually made me wiser and that is why I feel I can make such statements.
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Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional (Zen aphorism)
Well now I feel bad about suggesting that "it isn't too late to change your mind"
Don't feel bad because the "sex thing" was part of my decision but wasn't the main factor in it. It was more of where I felt I ranked in her life. She was the type of person who wanted all the benefits of a relationship without having to put the time in to maintain one. And coming from another bad LTR (I took a year off before dating again so I didn't just jump back into anything) I'm not really to quick to put myself through another one.
edastro, I disagree. Personally, I prefer a man like that. Call it a comfort thing, but it makes me feel like I'm with a man, not a selfish boy. Someone who will take care of me. As long as he's not a pushover, that's what I look for in a LTR. But you have to be careful because there are plenty of women who don't get it and will take it as a weakness and take it for granted.
All I can tell ya is that if I am engaged to be married I sure as hell better want to be spending all my time with my sig. other. I mean come on. You hadn't spent anytime together for over a month? Huge red flag.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but move on and find someone who is willing and wants to be with you.
Being apart when you are engaged is not healthy and I don't think that it holds up good things for the future.
I mean if she doesn't want to be with you now, what is going to be like when you are married. I think that you made a good decision.
So bizarre that I read this post today as I just split from my GF a couple of hours ago for precisley the same reason!! It is the worst situation - they tell you they love you SO much, you're wonderful etc etc. but you feel this wierd disconnect, a strange vibe and lack of effort on thier part. BUT...you convince yourself it can't be true, after all they are telling you they love you and seem to when you're together.
I was the doormat like you, my friend...but we did the best possible thing - we got OUT!! To stay and try to make it work is the worst possible solution as we lose pride and respect for ourselves and will eventually end up on the side of the road despite our best efforts. We deserve a woman who cherishes us, who WANTS to spend time with us and is mentally and emotionally healthy enough to show all this.
In my case we were one month into a second try at the relationship - I just don't understand why she didn't just let it end a month ago. I know she loved me in SOME way, it just wasn't enough.
I think these people are just selfish and cowardly - NOT good material for a partnership, lucky for us as there is no reason to look back.
Good decision leaving, some people would have stuck around and been walked all over - you WILL find someone who cherishes you and KNOWS they're lucky to have you.
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