Hi all..

I have been going out with my boyfriend for about 5 months. Everything is going great. We are both seniors in college and live right next door to each other. He is a very funny, laid back, goofy, somewhat immature kinda guy. Now, he is great..however, there is one thing. He has a tough time opening up to people..me especially...about his feelings. He is an only child and his father just passed away a few months ago. He never brings this up and does not show any signs of anything ever bothering him. Now, our relationship is going great...however, as time goes on..I have been getting a little bit annyoed with his never being serious. I mean, I know for a fact that he likes me..and he does say sweet and nice things to me..however..I often find myself feeling a little vague as to what is going on in his head. I dont know if it is just me over-analyzing everything..since in my last relationship, we talked about "us" constantly. Anyways..his reluctance to open up to me totally changes when he drinks. For example, last night he said some pretty intense stuff to me..."you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my life"..You are so beautiful....I only want to be with you..You make me happy...I couldn't stop telling my buddies that you are the perfect girlfriend tonight..." There was even one point where I heard him say "I love you"..and neithe rof us have said these words to each other yet. Now, he is a sweet heart when he is sober....and he does let me know how happy I make him..but he never says these intense things unless he is drunk. Also..neither of us are very big on public displays of affection..but when he drinks...he will kiss me and hug me at a party or a bar or whatever. Anyways..what I am wondering is if he really means this stuff or is it just the booze doing the talking? Any imput would be appreciated.

Thanks a million!

-AB =)

[Tony T]

Oh, I think he means it...he absolutely means it. He just comes from a suppressive family environment where verbal and physical expressions of affection were not common.

There are a lot of ladies who would love to know what he drinks.

It also could be a lack of courage. Some people are very shy to opening up emotionally, although they may seem outgoing.

My father went out with a girl, and he was so afraid of what she would think of him that he couldn't kiss her. She ended up breaking up with him because she thought he didn't like her. You took the initiative to figure out the problem, you will get through it. But I suggest you throw this example at him.