[Functional]

My family recently found out about my meth use. I have been clean for over a month. Some family members totally want nothing to do with me. At first they acted so supportive and now they won't come around if I am there. Why are they being like this?

[magichands]

Originally Posted by Functional

At first they acted so supportive and

Can you put a finger on what changed? You weren't trying to hump them, or anything??

[Functional]

Originally Posted by magichands

Can you put a finger on what changed? You weren't trying to hump them, or anything??

LOL"S

[magichands]

Haha. Well, the first part of my question was serious. Why did they suddenly decide to withdraw their support?! That's just not cricket.

[Functional]

Originally Posted by magichands

Haha. Well, the first part of my question was serious. Why did they suddenly decide to withdraw their support?! That's just not cricket.

I don't know that is why I was seeking some suggestions. My opinion they are having marital problems and this meth triggered them. But Idunno.

[magichands]

How long were they supportive, then? Ten seconds? A tension-popping minute? A blissful, soothing hour?

Maybe the problem was that someone slept on it. Rolling over on good intentions can flatten them.

[blind_otter]

Originally Posted by Functional

My family recently found out about my meth use. I have been clean for over a month. Some family members totally want nothing to do with me. At first they acted so supportive and now they won't come around if I am there. Why are they being like this?

I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict and I've been sober for over a year now. But I still have friends and family that reject me.

If you've ever been to NA or AA, they tell you that you have to make amends to those you have wronged. And just because you make amends doesn't mean that they will forgive you. Being sober is about dealing with the consequences of the bad choices you made while under the influence. This is the hardest point in your sobriety, IMHO, because it's easy to say 'Hey, I quit! Why isn't everything good again??' And it's easy to blame others and backslide.

But the truth is, the way your family is withdrawing is a reflection of how you treated them while you were using. Coldly and carelessly. The addict is supremely selfish and self-centered. And only now are you sober enough to deal with the fallout.

Apologize to everyone and give them time to forgive you. Keep proving yourself by cleaning up your life and maintaining your sobriety. They will come around, as long as you cultivate your patience.

[Functional]

Here's the thing I treated them with respect, watched their kids and they had no clue that I used meth. No one in my family knew, I went about my days with work, family, school, working out etc.

My family couldn't understand if I used meth, how come I was gaining so much weight? Sure my face appeared blemished from time to time and my hair is thinning, but who would of guessed?

So other than my own self sabatoge I don't have anyone to apologize to and I don't need to prove myself I never hit rock bottom.

[blind_otter]

Well! Anyways.

Drug use is not something that is accepted by society. Nor should it be, it destroys people and it destroys families and it destroys the fabric of society. People getting wasted don't care about anything other than getting wasted. You can't fool me on that one, I spent 8 years on the ride.

Don't expect people to be all loving and accepting once they find out that you used. You haven't been clean for very long, so your brain is still repairing itself.

You can't demand anything of anyone. The only person you can demand anything of is yourself. So behave properly and be a good person and SHOW your family that you are worthy of their support.

It's on your shoulders.

[Functional]

Thank you I appreciate the advice.