Recently when making a list of traits I see in myself(I'm transferring colleges and it helps me brainstorm for the essay), after some long pondering I put extreme shame down on the list. I feel ashamed and unworthy in nearly every aspect of my life. For example, If I'm sitting at a table in the library, just getting up and walking out the door I feel shame. I always feel like im on a pedestal. It kind of goes hand in hand... I feel everyone is always staring at me thinking negative things.

I've felt like this my entire life. Also, I rarely talk to girls and have never had a girlfriend or anything of that nature. I'm sure a lot of things tie in, such as self confidence, paranoia, shyness, etc. Obviously, this level of shame isn't normal and probably unhealthy as it, with the lack of self confidence, prevents me from talking with any girls and thus I'm always lonely and again feeling worthless. Seems like a vicious cycle to me. Am I doomed or should I seek professional help?

[claire21]

I don't think you're doomed just need some help that's all. I'm in a similar situation,I read plenty of self-help books.Surrond yourself with positive people.

[ocean67]

You don't say if you had a difficult childhood or not. If there are issues from the past that need to be addressed then it may be worth going into longer term therapy to work through some of the issues. Self help books and brief therapy may not delve deep enough.

If it is a low self esteem issue as a result of how you think about yourself , but with no real cause that you can pinpoint, try cognitive behavioral therapy or hypnotherapy to identify how you see yourself in relation to others and to work out new ways of thinking about yourself and those around you.

Self help books are great but talking through the issues with someone and hearing them out loud can be totally different than when you keep them to yourself.

Best of luck

[PYT]

You just sound like you are way too harsh when judging yourself. See if your school's psychology dept has a cbt group you can join which will teach you how to use thought countering exercises like the tea form so you can learn to think more objectively and help eliminate your shame and fears. Good luck!

[alextop30]

hey I use to be like this, I would not be talking to anyone, I would hate myself for that, at a point in life I stoped talking compleatly to my parets and my brother and friends on that point. I isolated myself and didn't do anything to helpmyself. How I got out--- I didn't
Until this day I am kinna embarrased to approach girls and have problem with that but I talk to them when ever they ask me a question and usually if they approach me first it ends up as great comversation. What I am trying to say to you though is that you can overcome yourself. If your parets are giving you negative thoughts such as "you are stupid, worthless, an idiot" ignore them totally that is how I survived.
Find something that you are good at sport, even jump rope if you like and do it in your free time for satisfaction, to test your abilities from that you will gain confidence from going frther than you have before

if you hear someone tell you that feeling good about yourself is the best thing for you, my suggestion is completely iggnore him for now because feeling good about yourself takes time. I am suggesting an activity that you will feel that you are good at and can be better so you can start feeling better about your everyday life. I did it like that and worked perfectly. I know I am sharing too much personal experiance but it is hard because I was the same thing and sometimes I do feel like this but I do have friends to call to cheer me up, or even really good friends that are girls who would always love to go to a movie or talk to me.

Starting to live a little better would be the key for you, dont worry that you cannot go for the girls yet that would come with time.

I hope I was able to help.

[RecordProducer]

Originally Posted by Guest

Recently when making a list of traits I see in myself(I'm transferring colleges and it helps me brainstorm for the essay), after some long pondering I put extreme shame down on the list. I feel ashamed and unworthy in nearly every aspect of my life. For example, If I'm sitting at a table in the library, just getting up and walking out the door I feel shame. I always feel like im on a pedestal. It kind of goes hand in hand... I feel everyone is always staring at me thinking negative things.

I've felt like this my entire life. Also, I rarely talk to girls and have never had a girlfriend or anything of that nature. I'm sure a lot of things tie in, such as self confidence, paranoia, shyness, etc. Obviously, this level of shame isn't normal and probably unhealthy as it, with the lack of self confidence, prevents me from talking with any girls and thus I'm always lonely and again feeling worthless. Seems like a vicious cycle to me. Am I doomed or should I seek professional help?

Have you experienced any form of abuse in the past? Beatings, insults, molestation? Did you feel that your parents thought low of you and criticized you often? Are they divorced and your mom brought some guy home who didn't like you? Did you feel neglected as a child? Or did you have a normal happy childhood filled with love, affection, and respect?