Same guy, same old deal (posted many threads about this particular guy). He had moved but said he wanted to keep in touch, which was fine. But..I had called/emailed him not alot but on occassion and he only emailed me once within 3 month time period. So..for a month, I didn't call him or email him, and whenever that happens he gets suspicious & wants to pop back into my life. Well he did just that, the other day at like midnight. He called to tell me that he was listening to this cd that we used to listen to and told me it reminded him of me. We got to talking, then he said he had met a new girl (most likely a hookup) But to me, that was a desperate and immature move by him. I didn't want to play his game back and tell him about guys that I could have, so I just slightly changed the subject. He then went on saying he wanted to go on this trip that I had asked him about before he left. He still seems interested...BUT I want to know what is real intentions are here. Is he using me, to keep in contact with me to feed his ego? Why is he being immature, when in fact he's being contradictory? I was pretty much getting over him, until he contacted me again.
And...it seems like he wants me to contact him when I have a crisis or something...so it makes him feel better about himself?
What's with this guy honestly? And why does he want to keep in contact?
Is there a fine line between being intimidated by me, but yet attracted by that?
Maybe it's time not to be friends with him right now until you're completely over him.
He's acting like it's no big deal but him mentioning his personal life, another girl etc., is cruel and he knows it too! He IS feeding his ego..he knows you still are into him so when he doesn't hear from you, he calls and makes conversation, telling you he was thinking of ya, songs/cd's that made him think and reminice...Pretty crappy thing to do!
Why do you want to keep intouch with him? What are you getting out of this?
Maybe it's time not to be friends with him right now until you're completely over him.
He's acting like it's no big deal but him mentioning his personal life, another girl etc., is cruel and he knows it too! He IS feeding his ego..he knows you still are into him so when he doesn't hear from you, he calls and makes conversation, telling you he was thinking of ya, songs/cd's that made him think and reminice...Pretty crappy thing to do!
Why do you want to keep intouch with him? What are you getting out of this?
you are so right. and it makes me want to get over him even more now. except..yesterday I text messaged him "merry christmas to him & his family =)" just like I did with all my friends. but I feel stupid for doing that because now, he still probably thinks that I'm under his wing...feeding his ego. will he think that?!
you are so right. and it makes me want to get over him even more now. except..yesterday I text messaged him "merry christmas to him & his family =)" just like I did with all my friends. but I feel stupid for doing that because now, he still probably thinks that I'm under his wing...feeding his ego. will he think that?!
Now don't email/text message him again. You owe him NOTHING. Go full on NO CONTACT. He can go feed his ego elsewhere.
You were doing okay until he popped back into your life.
You'll get back to that groove again if you cut off contact again.
What did he feel he had to gain by telling you he hooked up with someone? That's a crappy thing to reveal to someone.
If my ex contacted me to get together and threw in that he'd hooked up with someone- I'd be so turned off and hurt.
He sounds like he's trying to stroke his own ego- and he's doing so at the expense of your feelings. Not cool.
So what should I do now...just not contact him or letting him know I was hurt by that? I'm thinking of not contacting him instead, because I don't want him having the satisfaction that he got me upset.
But like I said, I foolishly text messaged him being all nice w/a smile & all.
It's best to let him think what he wants. He can take the merry christmas and smiles anyway he wants to. It doesn't matter anymore, right? NC is the only way to go. He's smart and will figure it out on his own.
Now don't email/text message him again. You owe him NOTHING. Go full on NO CONTACT. He can go feed his ego elsewhere.
I won't contact him after yesterday, but it wasn't stupid right? (text messaging him) lol I just wanted him to know that I won't stand for that kind of behavior, as in calling me after the fact that he hooked up w/ some other girl. ya know?
It's best to let him think what he wants. He can take the merry christmas and smiles anyway he wants to. It doesn't matter anymore, right? NC is the only way to go. He's smart and will figure it out on his own.
VIP...why did you even pick up the phone? Once you stop answering his calls and emails then he'll stop bugging you. And yes he is feeding his ego. He's just contacting u to see if you still love him.
Actually..I was thinking that since I did contact him all happy with the text message, he knows that he didn't make me upset, (about that girl) as in sad, begging for him to take me back. lol yah that sounds better.
VIP...why did you even pick up the phone? Once you stop answering his calls and emails then he'll stop bugging you. And yes he is feeding his ego. He's just contacting u to see if you still love him.
yes I know alpha, that was my first mistake-answering the call. and I'm realizing now that he's going to great lengths (desperate measures) to feed his brusied ego, how sad.
He's trying to keep you in his control. Lots of guys (and gals, I'm sure) do what he's doing to keep you off-kilter and not really ready to date someone else because you're always wondering if he's going to come back.
Move on. You deserve better.
Sidebar: Why is it that so many people think that we need to remain friends with every single person that we date or sleep with? Why would anyone want to remain friends with someone who plays control/ego games like that? I just don't get it...
He's trying to keep you in his control. Lots of guys (and gals, I'm sure) do what he's doing to keep you off-kilter and not really ready to date someone else because you're always wondering if he's going to come back.
Move on. You deserve better.
Sidebar: Why is it that so many people think that we need to remain friends with every single person that we date or sleep with? Why would anyone want to remain friends with someone who plays control/ego games like that? I just don't get it...
well I guess you'd have to experience it to understand it, that's all I gotta say.
but thanks, I know I deserve better
VIP, I know you know that you deserve better but now is the time for action. Thus initiate NC with him and finally get over him. I mean, does this tag of war that's going on between you two sounds like a healthy relationship? No, because in a healthy relationship both sides give 100% to the other. Not you 100% and he only 20% or whatever. You need to put your emotions aside and think logically about this.
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