[Brian18]

What's goin on everyone? This is kind of a long story, but here it goes. I met this girl in back in March, and we hit it off immediately. There was one problem however, we lived very far away from each other. She came to visit me 1 time soon after I met her and we talked on the phone every night after that. However, we lost touch a little bit after that, despite me trying very hard to see her/talk to her. When I felt like I would never see her again, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend in July. However, directly after that happenend, the other girl said that she wanted to see me again. So I immediately agreed and she came to see me for a weekend, and we didn't miss a beat. We seemed perfect together. I then when to visit her soon after in her home state 2 times and we talked on the phone all the time when we weren't together. On my second visit, we became a couple. We have now been together for almost 2 months, and I am crazy about this girl. It is a long distance relationship however. But while talking on the phone one night, she told me that she had sex with someone during the time that we didn't really talk, but I can't really say anything because I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend. I regret what I did, but it REALLY bothers me that she did it too. Anyway, one night, her and I were talking about going parking, and she asked if I had ever had sex on top of a car. I said no, but immediately asked her if she did. She said yes, and I asked her with who, and she said she didn't want to tell me. I said c'mon, so she did, and she said it was with that kid I mentioned earlier. I was pretty pissed. And now I can't stop thinking about it and bothers the hell out of me, partly because we haven't done anything "crazy" like that, and I didn't really think she would do something like that. I know I can't control her past, but it kills me to think about it. Suggestions or advice anyone???? Thanks!!

[hrtingsobd]

you weren't with her so forget about it. Perhaps you are jealous because you want to have "crazy" sex. Well...I say get crazy and the top of the car guy will be but a distant memory. BTW...don't ask anymore. If she asks if you have had sex in a certain place/position...what she really wants to hear is that you can't remember anyone but her and that she is the best you have ever been with.

[Brian18]

it's a long distance relationship so i don't see her all that much, which really sucks. and i definitely do want to do something "crazy" with her, but it's hard to do when we're not together.

[Walk]

You do realize that you are partaking in irrational thinking, right?

• You had sex with someone else, yet your upset she did too.
• You've had sex with other people, but you're upset that she agreed to tell you about a sexual encounter after you asked her twice to tell you.

I just wanted to highlight those, in case you were unclear what the irrational thoughts were.

I'm just teasing you some.

You feel a certain way about how she acted because it casts doubts on your value to her. You wanted her to "wait" for you, to be less experienced than you, etc. But understand that it's your ego talking, and not reality. You don't want to admit that she was off living her life just fine without you in the picture. Maybe that scares you, causes you to doubt yourself, and your abilities. Maybe it causes you to feel insecure in the value of what you have to offer to her. She's already shown she can take it or leave it.

I don't know what to tell you to get over it. You won't unless you have confidence in who you are, and your value to yourself.

And I completely don't buy into that philosophy of keepign past sexual encounters secret. I think it shows a lack of maturity, and a deep insecurity in yourself.

But, whatever.. I'm just one opinion.