[the_alchemyst]

It's been a long time since I made a thread here.

Anyway, lately I have been extremely anxious and stressed out. I know that part of the reasons why I'm like this are family and financially related, but another big part, although I hate to admit it, is the exbf.

We broke up . . . well, I can't really answer that. If I had to pick, I suppose I'd say sometime back in June or July. I say this because after those months, we did have communication for a while and things would be well and good for some weeks, and then he'd disappear again for about a month each time.

This went on for all the time after June/July.

The last time I heard from him was one month ago. Before that, we had been talking for about a week, more or less, and things had been friendly, but then he got upset over something really absurd, and so I haven't heard from him since.

I remember I did try some vague type of contact around Thanksgiving, but it was unsuccessful.

And now, with Xmas being next weekend, I really want to call him. I just feel it. I want to call him to wish him a Merry Christmas and just have things be civil. That's all I want.

But then I think that if I do call him, there's the risk of him being a jerk over the phone, which will only make me feel worse, so I refrain.

AHH!! I don't know what to do.

The loneliness of this time of year is really, really getting to me, and it's really beginning to cloud my judgement. Ugh. Sometimes I just want to sell everything I have and buy a plane ticket to Spain to go see if my dad is over there and just stick to him like glue.

Or maybe I should just call him.

I don't know. I really don't know anymore.

[magda]

It is sad when to see so many people have each other, especially around the holidays, and not have it yourself. Family and acceptance and love and warm feelings don't sound like they are going to come from your ex this year. Maybe some small things can help you feel better. Volunteering? Calling old friends? Maybe you have isolated yourself because of all the stress without realizing it.

[Pyro]

Calling your ex will not solve your problems. From your past posts, it sounds like he only drags you down. I agree with Magda that you should concentrate on the things in life that bring the best out of you.

[KittenMoon]

Alchy-

Every time you talk to him face to face or voice to voice, he snaps at you like a spoiled child.

So if you HAVE to say merry christmas, do it by email. Make it a one shot deal without an opening for continued communication and move on again.

Please don't call him because if you do then one of the following things will happen:

a) he'll be mean to you and make you feel humiliated

b) a woman will answer and you will feel humiliated

c) he'll be nice to you and you'll have hope and hang on for more months
and later on you'll wish you hadn't wasted so much time on him and you'll
feel humiliated

I don't mean to sound harsh but if he really missed you and wanted to talk to you he'd call because he knows that the ball is completely in his court. Have some pride and self respect and don't waste anymore time on someone who treats you like this. You are much better then that!