How many days is normal before guys call a girl after a date?

mygirlygirl · 15th December 2006, 8:57 PM

Hey! Guys, when you first start dating a girl, and you've been out on about 6 dates (weekend dates and maybe one night during the week once) but talking almost every day when you dont see each other; how long do you wait to call the girl after each date? I just have noticed that a guy I am dating calls me every day pretty much, but when we have a date, i dont hear from him for 2 days, sometimes going on 3 days. Now we've only been dating for about a month now, and he lives an hour away, so we only have dated about 6 times, and we did have sex the last 3 times (I know, so bad!). anyway, since we started sleeping together, i notice that on those nights when we hang out, i wont hear from him for 2 days. When i DO hear from him, he sounds so happy and excited to talk to me. Is this normal? I am not really WORRIED, but I guess when i was used to hearing from him every day, and then sometimes it jumps to every 2 days after we hang out, i just wonder if I am weird for letting it bother me a teensy bit lol.

MOMMIE · 15th December 2006, 10:39 PM

I honestly think it's the new relationship thing.....I think men wonder about the same things that we wonder about....like if we liked it or not, whose going to call first...it's all head games...trust me if he wasn't into you, he wouldn't be calling back at all....give it some time...

HeadlessZebra · 15th December 2006, 10:48 PM

It's possible that he's playing head games...

You know the one...

When they're trying to establish a "connection" it's in their best interest to maximize your exposure to them... but after the ball is already rolling, they know they should back of a little to keep your interest level high, keep you guessing, keep the passion and uncertainty up, let you stew in the aftermath of the sex, etc.

Slimy! But slick.

15th December 2006, 11:10 PM

what she does is everytime i log into msn instant message [like now] she goes invisible and after waiting a bit i log off. do u think this is a game or is she shy?

TheDC · 16th December 2006, 1:19 AM

He trying not to come across as being needy or clingy. But by being really excited when he calls you he is letting you know that he is thinking of you and that he is interested.

Try to think about it from his perspective. He is the one who has to initiate contact after the date or when you have slept together. So all sorts of things are going through his head. Namely, when should I phone her. Too soon after the date and she'll think I'm too needy or desperate. Too long and she'll think I'm just using her and don't care.

Two days is a good round number. It says 'hey I'm independent enough and secure enough to not have to call you right away, but at the same time I like you so I'm not going to string you along'.

amaysngrace · 16th December 2006, 1:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDC

But by being really excited when he calls you he is letting you know that he is thinking of you and that he is interested.

Yep. You may want to call him also rather than wait to hear from him. I'm betting it'll make him even more happy. Because it's nice to let him know that you care too.

mygirlygirl · 16th December 2006, 6:21 AM

Good morning guys :-)
you guys make a lot of sense. I am still living my own life and im not clingy AT ALL. HE has probably asked me to hang out maybe 8-10 times since we met and I have only been able to hang out about 5-6 times because I had prior plans made. I also don't answer any late night calls (I think he called me twice after 9pm and i was asleep; once he asked if he could stop by on his way home from his moms on thanksgiving night and I was too tired so i said maybe another time). So I am not "jumping" for him, you know? So maybe he is playing it cool too. I mean the last time it went two days, I got the vibe that he was wanting ME to call him, so i sent him an email that just said "how are you?" to his work and he wrote back immediately, "hey how are you? Id like to take you to dinner this week if you are available". But i guess im a little old fashioned in the way that I dont want to be the first to initiate contact after a date. Anyway, we had a date wednesday night this week, and now it is saturday morning and i havent heard from him. Thanks to all of you who replied!