In a nutshell…I am in my mid 50’s with two daughters, 27 and 25. Both got married this year to wonderful men. I really love their husbands. All four of them have decent jobs and are self supporting. My youngest has a six yr old stepson that she is so very good with. My problem is that I want to move 700 miles away. I am separated from my alcoholic husband (not their father) and getting ready to file for divorce. The girls and I grew very close over their teenage years and I usually see one or both of them every weekend. I talk to them on the phone at least every other day.

They have both told me that they just want me to be happy and while they would miss me, they understand why I want to move. I want to move to be closer to my 88 yr. old father and my two sisters. I really don’t have any close friends where we live now and I do have friends that I keep in touch with where I would be moving. The girl’s father left when they were preteens and I don’t want them to feel like I am abandoning them. I’ve assured them that there will be visits several times a year. I’m just struggling with leaving them here…so far away from me, if they should ever need me. I know that in the end, this is my decision but has anyone ever had a similar situation? Thanks for your input!

[Curmudgeon]

The girls are adults with husbands and families of their own. Thney'll surviver without you right there, believe me. You should never put your life on hold like that. With minor children, yes. With adult children, decidedly not unless they're dependent adults.

Obviously the girls aren't going to fault you and like you said, visits. You're only moving a two-day drive away.

When I retire in three years my wife and I are moving to the south-east about 2,000 miles from here. We'll be leaving, between us, five children and six grandchildren who live here in CA. I have one son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter in CO and another son and DIL in NJ. My oldest daughter and her husband, along with three of my grandchildren, want to move to WA or OR.

It's what families do anymore.

Go, enjoy and don't give it a second thought. You're not leaving their lives, just ambling down the road a bit.

Thanks so much for your input. I think I just needed to hear that someone else thinks this is not too selfish on my part as a parent. I know we never stop being parents but I'm ready to live my own life again!

[vanessabg]

I like CurmudDeon!suggestions and also like your decision Guest.You take absolutely right decision about your life and your daughters married life.

[CardPlay3r]

Yeah if you'll feel better in the new place then by all means move you can still keep in touch with your daughters by phone, internet etc.

[riobikini]

Guest, your girls are no longer "girls": they're *adult women* and are certainly old enough to do just fine on their own.

They have husbands. They have jobs and children.

They have lives that they've created *apart* from you.

It goes without saying that your children -though they may leave you- never leave your heart.

Just because you're moving away from them doesn't sap the meaning from that statement: it works in reverse, too.

Go be with your other family members who probably need you more, at least, for now.

And let the rest of your life -and theirs- begin.

(Smile)

-Rio