Recently I was dating a woman Who is 44, single, and never married.
Friends have told me this is a "red flag" that she perhaps has some issues, especially since she is very attractive. She also has no contact with anyone in her family.
I liked how she looked, and liked many things about her.
I did not like that she seemed to be solely interested in things pertaining to herself. Every conversation was about her.. When it was my time to speak, she just seemed disinterested, cut me off, changed the topic back to herself etc.
I thought this might change but it never did. She even just recently broke up with me stating she didnt like how I treat her. At times i would get irritated with her. But we never had a talk. Out of nowhere she simply stated "I dont think we are a match, sorry"
I suppose right now I am hurt by her ease of exit from the relationship. We saw each other about 4 or 5 times a week, and it wasnt all bad. My question is do any of you think that her actions are that of a woman is is 44 and never married, who also has no family contact. Are those future red flags to avoid? Perhaps she has not much ability at this point to give love, or be open to it, so she looked for any minor things to run?
I would like to know, guest, what is your story? Are you single? Divorced?
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I did not like that she seemed to be solely interested in things pertaining to herself. Every conversation was about her.. When it was my time to speak, she just seemed disinterested, cut me off, changed the topic back to herself etc.
She could be a wonderful catch. It's kinda strange that she doesn't want to talk too much about YOU, though.
Do you think she might be self-centered? Maybe that's why she hasn't gotten married yet? For many women, marriage and family can be a sacrifice of time and lifestyle.
Not all women over the age of 40 want to get married. In fact, most women I know who are that age are pretty much over the whole idea of marriage and kids. A lot of them just want to have fun with men, especially younger ones!
Anyway, it doesn't sound like you got to know her very well, besides the one-sided conversations. She's probably not a good match for YOU just based on that.
I don't think that being unmarried at 44 is, in of itself, a red flag. However, coupled with the fact that she has broken all ties with her family indicates one of two things. Either her family was extremely disfunctional and she had to for her own health, or she has no problems cutting off emotional ties.
She sounds pretty selfish. I would have to go with the theory that she easily disassociates herself from people and that's not really ideal for a relationship as she may never be able to really get attached.
Maybe it just isn't a good match for the two of you... or you should sit down and talk about what you are both looking for in a relationship and what you need from eachother.
Take it slow though....
You see eachother an awfull lot what about the excitment of the next date or outing....
Last edited by pricillia; 9th December 2006 at 5:42 PM..
Some people don't want to be married, thats one thing, or they decide later in life that they change there minds ok.
But I think that if someone, from there teen years and then on has wanted a family, has been actively seeking a partner, and has never been able to find anyone that shows you that there is something there you might want to be weary of.
Its one thing to have been married and divorced because something happened, but to never have given anyone a chance... it just screams of red flags to me.
In my opinion when people say things like "good men / women are hard to find" as an excuse for why they are still single later in life its total bs. They don't open themselves up or they look for reasons to end relationships.
In my experience love finds you if you let it. People make things to hard for themselves to many times in life.
Recently I was dating a woman Who is 44, single, and never married.
Friends have told me this is a "red flag" that she perhaps has some issues, especially since she is very attractive. She also has no contact with anyone in her family.
I liked how she looked, and liked many things about her.
I did not like that she seemed to be solely interested in things pertaining to herself. Every conversation was about her.. When it was my time to speak, she just seemed disinterested, cut me off, changed the topic back to herself etc.
I thought this might change but it never did. She even just recently broke up with me stating she didnt like how I treat her. At times i would get irritated with her. But we never had a talk. Out of nowhere she simply stated "I dont think we are a match, sorry"
I suppose right now I am hurt by her ease of exit from the relationship. We saw each other about 4 or 5 times a week, and it wasnt all bad. My question is do any of you think that her actions are that of a woman is is 44 and never married, who also has no family contact. Are those future red flags to avoid? Perhaps she has not much ability at this point to give love, or be open to it, so she looked for any minor things to run?
From your description of her and the date, it sounds like she has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). You can Google that term for more information. You might be astounded at the features of this disorder...and MANY people have this.
A person who is ONLY for themselves needs some spineless idiot with no self esteem to give up his entire life to please her every whim...and, even then, she won't be happy. Women with NPD are never satisfied, unstable and could care less about anybody unless there is something in it for them. When the benefits dry up, they are off to a new (what is called) narcissistic supply.
People with NPD are totally devoid of empathy. It's not their fault, it's just not wired into their brain. They are unable to identify with other people...their pain....their problems. Marriage to a person with NPD is a life of hell.
This was an easy one. You might want to read up on NPD and then see her a few more times just to be amazed and entertained. They are always too much. No matter how much you do for them, it's not enough.
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Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 9th December 2006 at 6:17 PM..
I don't know, I don't get the feeling the girl was a narcissist. I dated one and you rarely get out of the relationship without major damage and a big roller coaster ride.
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