I am in a relationship with a girl. We have not been able to make love, because everytime we use a condom, it does not work it...I lose the erection. I believe that because of this our relationship is getting wirse and worse. Is there anything that can be done to save this. I love her dearly and don't want to lose her.

She does not seem to be comfortable with other contraceptive methods. I am in despair. What can be done???

[Tony T]

I know exactly what you're talking about.

You can practice at home, putting on condoms and attempting to keep an erection. However, erections are in the mind as much as they are in the penis. Condoms aren't a lot of fun for most guys but they do manage with them. There are some people who just can't seem to use them effectively.

If practicing doesn't work and you feel you are stimulated sufficiently by your girlfriend, visuallly and sensually, then see a doctor. There may be some medical reasons why you are not able to maintain an erection. However, an erection is nearly all psychological and my feeling is that most of this is in your head. Explore all avenues before giving up.

You write that your relationship is getting worse and worse. You didn't say why. If it's because you are unable to maintain an erection with a condom and she is unwilling to use other methods, the fault for the worsening relationship lies with both of you.

If all else fails, you will have to find a girlfriend who doesn't mind the pill, shot, etc. That's the bottom line. Your current girlfriend must have extremely strong feelings about other forms of birth control to sacrifice her relationship with you for them.

#1, are you maybe "well endowed" to where you're cutting off circulation? It doesn't take much to make you go limp. If that's not it, then maybe you need to keep your mind on what's important at that time. Stop thinking about the condom. As for your girlfriend, until this problem is solved, shouldn't she have the heart to use encare, vcf, shot, or cream? But you still have to worry about a.i.d.s.

If the problem keeps assisting maybe you should talk to a doctor or shrink.

I am in a relationship with a girl. We have not been able to make love, because everytime we use a condom, it does not work it...I lose the erection. I believe that because of this our relationship is getting wirse and worse. Is there anything that can be done to save this. I love her dearly and don't want to lose her. She does not seem to be comfortable with other contraceptive methods. I am in despair. What can be done???

I think your girlfriend wants to use a condom because of safety as far as sexual transmitted diseases it is the best way to keep from spreading anything it gives her peace of mind so she can enjoy the sex after all safty first.

as for the other problem have her help you put it on maybe it will help if it is her hands that are touching you ,and lighten up it could be just phycological and just lack of experience with it just keep in mind how much you want her and you should want to protect yourself also until you are sure this is the only girl your ever gonna sleep with and vice versa.

have fun !