[jlp]

I've got a big problem...and I'm looking for a little advice. 7 years ago I cheated on my husband (we were not yet married) and of course it's still haunting me today. I was not honest and dragged the situation way too long. Long story short...we decided to work it out and got married and now have a son...and another on the way. The past still pops up and causes problems for us quite often. The dilemma is my husband has taken to ignoring our son when he gets angry. He will just lock himself in his office and tune out the world. He is neither mean nor hurtful to him...but it is dissapointing for the little guy none the less. I have tried to ask my husband to stop this but he has told me that it is my fault. He is saying that because of what I did...he cannot be blamed for how he interacts with our kid. I am just looking for another perspective. Can anyone relate to this? I feel that he's gotta stop doing this and put our son first...but he is firm on the fact that if I want him to do a better job...than I need to do more apologizing and groveling for what I did. I know how badly I betrayed him...but it's not our kid's fault. Any advice would be a god-send. thanks.

[Pyro]

Originally Posted by jlp

I've got a big problem...and I'm looking for a little advice. 7 years ago I cheated on my husband (we were not yet married) and of course it's still haunting me today. I was not honest and dragged the situation way too long. Long story short...we decided to work it out and got married and now have a son...and another on the way. The past still pops up and causes problems for us quite often. The dilemma is my husband has taken to ignoring our son when he gets angry. He will just lock himself in his office and tune out the world. He is neither mean nor hurtful to him...but it is dissapointing for the little guy none the less. I have tried to ask my husband to stop this but he has told me that it is my fault. He is saying that because of what I did...he cannot be blamed for how he interacts with our kid. I am just looking for another perspective. Can anyone relate to this? I feel that he's gotta stop doing this and put our son first...but he is firm on the fact that if I want him to do a better job...than I need to do more apologizing and groveling for what I did. I know how badly I betrayed him...but it's not our kid's fault. Any advice would be a god-send. thanks.

It is definitely not the kids fault, so tell your husband to grow up and stop taking his anger out on your son. I will suggest marriage counseling for the two of you. This sounds like a matter for the professionals. If your husband loves you and wants to save the marriage, he will do this because there doesn't seem to be any other options.