B/F catching a movie with another girl

signofthegoat · 11th November 2006, 12:42 AM

I just gave my boyfriend, who lives around 80 miles south of me, the go-ahead to catch a late movie with a girl who had been bugging him to see it with her. I was cool about this situation since I trust him and know how he feels about me and our relationship; I also didn't want to come off as controlling or jealous. He did mention to me that he'd have rather me been mean about it and not given him permission to go out with her. Should I have behaved differently to the situation or something?

tanbark813 · 11th November 2006, 1:00 AM

If he asked you beforehand if you were okay with it then you probably don't have anything to worry about. It's if he went with her without telling you that you should be concerned.

Lights · 11th November 2006, 2:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by signofthegoat

He did mention to me that he'd have rather me been mean about it and not given him permission to go out with her. Should I have behaved differently to the situation or something?

No, IMO you shouldn't have done anything differently, provided your trust in each other is well-placed. (I don't know how your relationship is, so I can't say anything there.)

I just think that your boyfriend was acting a bit childishly in that one instance by preferring that you bar him from attending, or expecting you to "be mean about it". You obviously showed trust in him, and he in you. It sounds like he wanted not you to be mean per se, but rather that he felt that barring him would provide him with an convenient excuse to abdicate responsibility for his choice so he could say "No, she made me refuse" instead of handling the interaction as it stood (maybe something like "Sorry, I have a girlfriend...", if the answer is no or "I'm seeing someone right now, but I can come to hang out." if the answer is yes?).

I suppose that in the end though it's all good if your relationship continues well, and if everything was good it's all ok.

Whatever. Just random thoughts. I'm going to crash now.

Walk · 11th November 2006, 7:51 AM

I think it was kind of unfair of him to ask this, but at the same time doesn't sound like it was anything to worry about.

I interpreted him wanting you to say no as meaning he really doesn't like this girl even to hang with, but she's pushy and he wanted an 'out' she couldn't argue against.