[sunshinegirl]

I'm in an odd situation and could use some advice.

My good friend "Kristin" is married to "Matt". Matt's best friend is this guy "Aaron" who I met over the summer. The four of us--and sometimes more ppl are there--hang out frequently, camping, rock climbing, cooking dinner, etc. I see Aaron about once a week, sometimes twice depending on what's going on.

I've been dating around quite a bit - somehow I'm on quite a streak lately and have met several really quality guys recently but so far nothing has clicked. That said, Aaron is really good looking, very smart, very nice, but I've never let myself entertain the possibility of dating him because he is recently divorced with a 5-year old daughter. I think the divorce was finalized sometime over the summer, but beyond that I know absolutely nothing except that his ex-wife has custody and he has his daughter every other weekend.

Friday night Aaron drops me off, as he's done before. But when I hug him goodbye (he's a hugger - hugs everyone in greeting), he doesn't let go and he plants one on me, the intensity of which I have not experienced in a long, long while. He plants more than one on me, actually. It's like he wants to take me then and there.

When I ask "what was that?" he says "I feel like I've wanted to do that for a long time." We say goodbye, I go inside, and spend about ten minutes in shocked stillness trying to decide how I feel about what's just happened. I think I'm psyched.

That was Friday. It's now Tuesday night. I've heard nothing from him.

So is this just typical "guy" time and I'll hear from him before too long?

Is he embarrassed about what happened and hoping I'll contact him first?

Did he freak himself out and now is unsure what to do next?

Was it just a passing drunken moment, and he hasn't thought about it since?

I just don't know if I should say something. In part I'm worried about things being awkward if we don't talk about it before we see each other again, which of course would be with Kristin & Matt since we've never spent time together one-on-one. I haven't told Kristin what happened, in case it was just a drunken moment or something. No idea if he's told Matt.

So what should I do -- sit back and wait, or reach out to him?

I'm not even sure what I want - I mean, talk about walking into a potential mess. But dang it! Before he kissed me, I hadn't contemplated dating him. Now that he has, I've spent the last four days thinking of little else. Gah!

Originally Posted by sunshinegirl

I'm in an odd situation and could use some advice.

My good friend "Kristin" is married to "Matt". Matt's best friend is this guy "Aaron" who I met over the summer. The four of us--and sometimes more ppl are there--hang out frequently, camping, rock climbing, cooking dinner, etc. I see Aaron about once a week, sometimes twice depending on what's going on.

I've been dating around quite a bit - somehow I'm on quite a streak lately and have met several really quality guys recently but so far nothing has clicked. That said, Aaron is really good looking, very smart, very nice, but I've never let myself entertain the possibility of dating him because he is recently divorced with a 5-year old daughter. I think the divorce was finalized sometime over the summer, but beyond that I know absolutely nothing except that his ex-wife has custody and he has his daughter every other weekend.

Friday night Aaron drops me off, as he's done before. But when I hug him goodbye (he's a hugger - hugs everyone in greeting), he doesn't let go and he plants one on me, the intensity of which I have not experienced in a long, long while. He plants more than one on me, actually. It's like he wants to take me then and there.

When I ask "what was that?" he says "I feel like I've wanted to do that for a long time." We say goodbye, I go inside, and spend about ten minutes in shocked stillness trying to decide how I feel about what's just happened. I think I'm psyched.

That was Friday. It's now Tuesday night. I've heard nothing from him.

So is this just typical "guy" time and I'll hear from him before too long?

Is he embarrassed about what happened and hoping I'll contact him first?

Did he freak himself out and now is unsure what to do next?

Was it just a passing drunken moment, and he hasn't thought about it since?

I just don't know if I should say something. In part I'm worried about things being awkward if we don't talk about it before we see each other again, which of course would be with Kristin & Matt since we've never spent time together one-on-one. I haven't told Kristin what happened, in case it was just a drunken moment or something. No idea if he's told Matt.

So what should I do -- sit back and wait, or reach out to him?

I'm not even sure what I want - I mean, talk about walking into a potential mess. But dang it! Before he kissed me, I hadn't contemplated dating him. Now that he has, I've spent the last four days thinking of little else. Gah!

Surley you jest!! If you had not wanted to date the guy, why were you hanging out with him? He takes it as you like him and visa versa. Being divorced with a kid shows he has the ability to be a life partner. Find out exactly why he got divorced to make a acurate judgement. Do you like the guy enough to take it to the next level???yes/no! He kissed you because he likes you, drunk or not. Being loose on booze just makes it easier to let true/raw feelings come out thats all there.

And yes, guys dont call and they do wonder if they are being accepted by you for there actions that they took, (excellent kisses). If you want it to go on, for gods sake tell him. If you dont, tell him, they are not mindreaders, you have to acutally say whats on your mind. Just do it and get it over with, you and him deserve to know where you stand.! do it, and do it asap dear!

[sunshinegirl]

If you had not wanted to date the guy, why were you hanging out with him? He takes it as you like him and visa versa.

Sorry--to clarify, we have never spent time one-on-one. Ever. He was dropping me off from dinner at Kristin & Matt's. Matt is always the one to extend the invite to him; Kristin extends an invite to me. We've never sent each other an email or called each other. I don't even have his number.

Being divorced with a kid shows he has the ability to be a life partner.

That could be true...but I don't know any of the details of what happened so I wouldn't say it's necessarily true.

I learned this afternoon that he's not yet officially divorced -- they're separated and have been for about a year, but the divorce isn't final and apparently isn't even close to being final. It just doesn't seem like someone in that kind of situation is emotionally ready to be in another relationship. I mean, doesn't this shout "rebound" to you??