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FWB, but why isn't he being real w/ me???

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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 25th October 2006, 4:10 AM   #1
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FWB, but why isn't he being real w/ me???

What do you do when you gave your FWB the impression that you wanted something more.... when you really didn't and you're POSITIVE of it??

So they slowly stop calling you as much, until its not at all....and you're left texting them and calling every so often, asking what you did to piss them off.... Only because you don't like the REJECTION, not that there was any sort of attachment.

This happened to me, and now he is trying to call me again. Its been about 3 months since we've actually hung out.

I was out with my ex one night, about 2 months ago. We just went out with some friends to this bar....and I ended up running into my FWB, who'd been IGNORING me for about a month. He looked absolutely TERRIFIED, like he had no idea what to say....and I just gave him a nice, easy, little smile...like I was sweating a thing. Well, his friends (who I didn't know) ended up getting disrespectful and yelling stuff at me from across the bar. Things like "You're so ****ing hot, omg!!! Come over here!!" Yeah, they were very drunk. So my ex (whom I was trying to work things out with again) freaked out and almost got into a fight with my FWB. It was the most awkward situation EVER because my EX asked him "Why are you trying to holler at my girl?" and my FWB guy replied back with "SHE'S NOT YOUR GIRL!" But THE THING IS - Neither of them were with me at the time!!!! But It didn't really make since to me, why he would respond like that...when he'd been IGNORING me for 1 month?!?! Whats up with that?

Soo basically, its been like 3 months now...and this guy is trying to call me again. Hes sending me texts too, some that are "chain" texts and say stuff about me being a HOE, blah blah blah. I was just ignoring it all, but I had to stick up for myself for the one about me being a HOE. I'm afraid that he is starting to feel like he can disrespect me, and call me anytime for sex... like I'm this freakin' "holla back girl". But I'm not. He's being sweet and leaving me nice messages too, but I think hes just playing games. The sex was always really good, and I wouldn't even mind seeing him again just for it. But I don't want him to feel like he can treat me however he wants or "own" me as he might think.

How do I handle this??? Should I just ignore him for a while so he knows that I'm not there every time he wants me to be? I really want to ask him why he thought I was attached, or what made him just start ignoring me.... But I know I'll get the sugar coated answer. What do you guys think?? Thanks!!!
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Old 25th October 2006, 11:40 AM   #2
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I am on the other end of your situation (the one who is like your ex FWB) My fwb woman also gave me the impression that she wanted more out of me and it freaked me out and I am in the process of trying to ignore her.

I would say if you want him to respect you then don't talk to him at all. Ignore his texts (I would never say or text mean things to my FWB woman but I have hung up on her and done other disrespectful things.) Just act like he doesn't exist and maybe when he realizes he can't have you then he will start treating you better.

What did you do to make him think you wanted more or that you were getting attached? Because my FWB woman definately made me think she was getting too attached and I pulled away and want to end everything totally. Maybe thats how your FWB guy feels but he still wants the benefits. Don't let him treat you like that. You deserve better.
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