My husband got another girl pregnant before we met and didn't tell me!

mpd_26 · 24th October 2006, 2:10 AM

Help! My husband got another girl pregnant before we met, and never bothered to tell me about it. The girl called him after she found out, but he ignored it, hoping it would just "go away." He didn't hear from her for over a year, but now she contacted him a few days ago, wanting child support. Of course, I didn't know any of this at all until now.

If I knew he had a kid, I never would have dated him/married him. He's not 100% sure it's his, but he can't take a DNA test until April because he's over in Iraq. I feel so betrayed that he never told me. When we first met, I made it very clear that I don't date guys who have kids. He was not honest with me, and hid something huge from me! It makes me sick to think that this kid might be his...It makes me feel disgusted to know he reproduced with somebody else.

What do I do??? I love him, but he broke my trust and my heart...I will always be bothered by the fact that he has a kid, even though he would sign over his parental rights. THe thought will always be there, and I'll never look at him the same again...Help?!

BannaBee57 · 24th October 2006, 4:39 PM

"When we first met, I made it very clear that I don't date guys who have kids."

Well, why do you think he lied to you? He obviously liked you and didn't want to lose you for such a silly reason. Why won't you date people with children from previous relationships?

I think some relationship counseling is in order for when he gets back so that you can regain your trust in him.

mpd_26 · 25th October 2006, 4:25 AM

I do not want any children, and I do not want to be a "step-mother" to anybody else's children. It's my personal choice. I don't like the idea of the mother always being in the picture, either. That's too much drama, and I don't want to deal with it. I just want it to be me and my husband, and no kids whatsoever. I don't want that kind of "baggage" (no offense to parents here). It hurts to know that he had a fling with this girl, and made a huge mistake which he will be paying for for a lifetime, which in turn, is affecting my life, and our marriage.