I’m 30 years old and have been for the most part, happily married for 11 years and have a beautiful son of 10 years of age. The problem however is that, unknown to my husband, our son is not really his son. Shortly after we were married, my husband often went on business trips and I felt lonely. During that time, I had a brief relationship with a neighbor of ours and got pregnant. I never told my husband the truth and as far as he know, our son is his. We had planned on having only one child, so after my son was born, my husband got a vasectomy. It really bothers me that I’m living a lie. I am now so filled with the feeling of guilt I feel it is eating me away. I want so much to tell him the truth, however, I know that if he knew I cheated on him, he would leave me and leave me. He certainly would not support my son knowing he is the son of a man who fooled around with me. What should I do? Is it better for me to live the lie for the sake of my son?

[Tony T]

I am sure your husband loves this child and feels certain he is his. There is a bond there you should not interfere with. If you need to confess your sins, go to a member of the clergy or to a psychotherapist.

I see nothing good coming out of telling your secret at this point in time. Your husband has a long history with this boy, from birth until now. You would do a great deal of damage by revealing this information at this time.

There is no good reason to burden yourself with a lot of guilt, either. Had you told your husband at the time of your pregnancy, I think the consequences could have been worked out more easily. At this point, there is certainly much more at stake.

Cut out the guilt, live as a happy family, and stop screwing around with the neighbors when you feel lonely. Forgive yourself and go on with your life. Be happy!!!

Telling your husband would only be for you to clear YOUR mind. You may feel better having told him, and got the weight off your chest, but you are going to do some serious lifelong damage to your husband that will feel 10 times worse for him than it ever will for you.

If you feel you can't handle the guilt, go and see a counsellor or someone you can trust to learn how to manage the guilt effectively.

It is not managing guilt effectively by destroying other peoples lives just to clear your conscience.

I'm 30 years old and have been for the most part, happily married for 11 years and have a beautiful son of 10 years of age. The problem however is that, unknown to my husband, our son is not really his son. Shortly after we were married, my husband often went on business trips and I felt lonely. During that time, I had a brief relationship with a neighbor of ours and got pregnant. I never told my husband the truth and as far as he know, our son is his. We had planned on having only one child, so after my son was born, my husband got a vasectomy. It really bothers me that I'm living a lie. I am now so filled with the feeling of guilt I feel it is eating me away. I want so much to tell him the truth, however, I know that if he knew I cheated on him, he would leave me and leave me. He certainly would not support my son knowing he is the son of a man who fooled around with me. What should I do? Is it better for me to live the lie for the sake of my son?

[Tony T]

Every word you wrote was right on the mark. There may be people with other opinions but, no matter, what you said will hold true in any case.

How can some people get so low, as to do something like that to someone? This world is full of discusting people like this. In my opinion, i think this woman needs to be taken out and shot in the head for doing something like this!!!!!! I hope she BURNS IN HELL!!!!! SHE IS LIVING A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, this is just my opinion.

im outa here, i got a big phat blunt to smoke

Every word you wrote was right on the mark. There may be people with other opinions but, no matter, what you said will hold true in any case.

[Paulie]

WORD!!!!!!!!!!