[everlong]

Thursday, October 19, 2006



It's called a dance of passion. Some say it's a dance with the Devil. It can be one of the most elaborately detailed dances when danced. But it can be deadly. A dance of the evening could become the dance of a lifetime. But of course the duration is all in the fine details.
You start with one simple step; the first strand in your web. As the dance progresses and the fancy details put into each step, that dance is a big web. A web that can one day trap you as it is a web of lies.
To dance the tango Arachnid, is to dance the Devil's passion with a spider. You begin spinning a web so elaborately created that it has the power to either trap you in a life falsely created or hurt those around you that you pretend to care about. It doesn't require two people for this tango. It simply requires you and the black widow. She has no remorse for the people she helps destroy. Nor does she ever take kindly to having her beautiful webs destroyed. They are her artistry; her children. Never make the mistake of considering yourself a victim of hers or her children when it was you who asked her to dance. Her real victims tend to suffer in silence. The webs are dark, the true victims cannot see them or the intricacy behind their creation. The brilliant fine artistry with its colourful vibrancy is so well spun that it is blinding to all except a higher power, or its mortal enemy; guilt.
Guilt can either work against the artist or with the artist. When it works with the artist, the artwork is deadlier than the black plague. However when it works in opposition to the artist, the artwork has the power of destruction, equal if not greater than the portrait of Dorian Gray over Dorian Gray. The artwork has the power to destroy the artist's soul from within. Guilt is the Devil's angel of death; collecting even innocent souls for his master and trapping then into a life of pain. The black widow does the Devil's dirty work by luring the guilty and innocent souls. With each lie, you condemn at least two souls; your own and an innocent. The innocent are those who love you despite your flaws. In truth there is no need for deception.
~We are all artists who suffer from innocence~

Never under any circumstances contact me or anyone associated with me or my family.

Alli 34 and Golden 40
[please notice how many things foreshadow this tale].

Sometime in November 2002, a friend of mine named Golden introduced himself to the women of Lavalife. Funny thing was that of all the possibilities a web site might offer, he only met one person, only one caught his eye. For the next 4 years, they lived every emotion known. She was intrigued but skeptical and she still is today. She was strong and determined and he still is today. Even back then Alli got annoyed with these ordinary guy and hid herself many times from him. Then Golden sent her a picture of himself in a Santa Claus outfit saying Merry Christmas and Alli came out of hiding.

Alli and hee friend listened to all his music and volley back and forth, with a little foreplay, even back then she was both confident and unsure. She was a nite owl and he was a morning person. She wrote stories and he took pictures. And they moved from words written on a computer, to a voice on the phone, to seeing a play about Death. . He told her that he would never be afraid to make a fool out himself for her and she had deep thoughts, always something churning over and over in her head, looking for something wrong. But there wasn’t. the two of them talked about everything, feelings and emotions, sex, their past, money, styles, and music. They exchanged lists of what they felt was important to them and each of them were happy they had a romantic partner. From a first date, to going steady, suddenly Alli said she was not afraid, had no doubt, would not hold back and her wall came down. This is new she thought.

He is really a stranger, she tried and tried to disbelieve but she refused to do so. And that is how they build a trust, that came naturally, and she feel like someone actually understood her – he did. So they went to spas and had the toes done, took trips and made music, and she showed him her stories about 6 cookies. There was a evening of planB, the first Valentines Day necklace, they both became vulnerabile without even knowing. They ate Lasagna after hours in the sack, she made logs and tshirts, and he gave her a promise ring – and he always kept his promise [that whatever made her happy he would do]. And even when they both had to get back to real life, like jobs, and school, and kids, and bills, they still managed to find sometime for each other. And they grew and they changed and they lived together a life of ups and downs, of praises and fears – neither one ever wanted to hurt the other but they did because they are human – that was they both forgive.

There is never just one person, one event that makes one person weaker or better – a relationship takes two people so you shoulder the blame and the glory. I guess what this is all about is I saw a post earlier where a woman and a man found themselves at the crosswords. And terrible things happened but all that really was – is life throwing life right back into your face. The lessons learns far outweigh any pain. but in that one post, a woman wondered just what that man would do, she wondered what decision she should make and thought she would be all defensive when she meet him maybe for the last time. And that’s why I told you this little tale, because if those two are like Alli and Golden, they really have no fears. Because both times Alli wanted to leave Golden let her, because that is what Love is – you don’t own someone – you give them respect.

And every time Alli felt nervous and wanted to run, she never felt that way when they saw each other face to face. See, that is something they always could do – remove those fears by looking into each others eyes. So, if I was that man in the post about the woman leaving, I would read this story to the woman that is shy. And I would tell them that they should never listen to strangers, and those who will plot, family and relatives who think they know but do not. Just listen to each other and that’s all they will every need because that is what love and soulmates do.

If I lay back
Would you lay back with me
Forget what we are
And let the garden burst with life
So just hold on
Hold on to what you know is real
Then you’ll know
These things never change